Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Dating story #44, Revolving-Door Dudes.

Hello from mid-week with the weekend update!
**WARNING: this post is somewhat lengthy. You may need a snack or bathroom break in the middle of it.  Or to read it in two sittings.  Just an FYI.**


After my week's hiatus from drinking and going out [mainly due to some unfortunate food-poisoning], Friday night came around and I felt it was my duty to get back into the saddle.  Although I was feeling amazingly exhausted from a very early client meeting and all I wanted to do was nap.  Plus, I was trying to sell a couch from my 'cessories room (to make room for more 'cessories, duh).  I had craigslist flakes being, well, flaky and I was really a cranktastic mess. PMS undoubtedly had a hand in my bad personality as well, and I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do.  I realized that, the same as being in the pattern of always being out, staying in can breed more of wanting to stay in. I had to break this cycle!
FRIDAY NIGHT
El Señor.
He had been hitting me up over FB chat during the day and we had made a tentative plan to meet up. I couldn't tell him what I wanted to do because I was so tired and mean I knew I had to nap first and figure it out.  So he told me to txt him when I woke up.  
I woke up feeling even bitch-crankier but slowly came out of it as I sold my couch (yay!) and took a shower to improve my awfulness.  A little glass of wine and makeup brought me right back up to speed so I told him he could meet me at the wine cellar at Peasant [aka 'The Cave'] if he wanted a drink.  I like it because it's dark, sexy and half a block from my apartment.  So we met there and chilled at the bar for awhile.  I realized I don't always enjoy conversing with El Señor. Why? Here's an example:
HIM: [says something to me]
ME:  What? Really? No way that's not true.
HIM: Leensy, ju are so defensive!
ME: No I'm not! But I just don't agree with what you said!
HIM: {laughing} Haha, I like to fight. 
Ugh. Damn spicy Latinos.  
I will say he is completely at ease with himself and I like that kind of confidence.  The kind that looks at you and out of nowhere, and in mid-sentence, tells you how beautiful your eyes are and then leans in and kisses you right at the bar. And means it.  That's pretty cool.  But, that's about it.  And I'm thinking that's about it for El Señor.  He's kind of a shifty character and we just don't have enough intellectual chemistry for me to care about it. Moving on!
SATURDAY
The Streak.
*MAJOR BREAKING NEWS*
Last night, something happened to make me have the strange feeling that The Streak may have discovered this blog.  I wouldn't be surprised, seeing he is quite resourceful and gifted in all things internet.  However, this made me freak out a little.  And then, I didn't. Because I realized I've only said pretty nice- hell, flattering, things about him and they were all true.  My only concern is that a guy reading this blog might think that I am:
a) batshit crazy
b) batshit man-crazy
c) a dirty, dirty whore
But, I like to think I'm none of those.  Just a girl experiencing some things for the first time in life, making up for some lost time and reporting on it all to entertain herself and others.  I think it's also a form of therapy for me.  Either way, he doesn't seem to judge as he's still talking [ok, "chatting"] with me every day. So I will just say this: 
Dear The Streak,
If you have happened to stumble across this blog, I hope you found it amusing. And, I hope you know how much I actually like/care about you. AND, how much I think I would actually like to "see" you, like you indicated YOU wanted to do in those texts a few months back.  So, if you're reading this and still maybe-kinda-sorta feel that way, man up and do something about it!
Back to Saturday!
I traveled out to Brookland, Greenpoint to be exact, to meet The Streak at his favorite divey taco joint.  
¡Que authentico!
It was everything I had hoped it would be, and definitely felt nostalgic of my hometown, San Antonio.  I have to say, we had an awesomely delightful day. Or at least I did, anyway.  It's always interesting to spend face time during sober, daylight hours with someone you're used to only chatting with online or being stupid drunk with at 3am in a bar.  I guess it takes a bit to relax, but then you realize you're fine and roll with it.  
I didn't know if I should just bust back home after lunch, but he ended up taking me on a whole walking tour of Greenpoint, which included some CRAZYMAZING DONUTS.  The Streak is the devil!  Greenpoint is actually this really adorable, authentic Brooklyn neighborhood with tons of charming little places, dives and nooks and crannies to explore.  I can see why he is so in love with living there.  And I had a truly great time being toured around there with him. Nothing more than a friendly hug good-bye happened at the end of the day, which is totally fine. We definitely have a great personality connection and I think there may still be the potential to go beyond that, but I really have no idea where his head's at, and if I've learned anything in the past [and I HAVE], it's Never try to figure out what a guy is thinking. It is a game you will almost ALWAYS lose.  
But I left Brookland with a smile on my face and got right off the subway to a text from Sexy Sue saying she was at a bar in my neighborhood, so I went straight there, all the while thinking "I am really so freaking lucky to have such cool people in my life and have most of them so accessible.  I love NY."  This is what I like to call having an "I HEART NY" day.  They happen a lot, especially when the weather is nicer.  But they always do a great job of negating the "I HATE NY" days. Always.
SATURDAY NIGHT
First date with Richie, the foodie and constant food-industry jetsetter.  He took me to Blue Ribbon Sushi, thought by many to be amongst the best sushi in the city.
Upon arrival, I already noticed Richie is pretty un-tall. Now, many of you may think the tall thing is a "complex" I have or something. Not true. Like hair color or eye color, I just happen to find height attractive. And, I also like to wear heels and not feel like a member of the WNBA, dwarfing my poor tiny dates.  Sue me!
Not a total deal-breaker though, of course and I was interested in seeing what kind of chemistry we had during the meal.  The meal, btw, was OUT. FREAKING. STANDING. 
We sat at the sushi bar and he literally told them to just send us stuff.  Never looked at a menu. It was a BLAST.  I love a food adventure like that, and he was totally into the fact that I was into it too.  There was never a lag in the convo-- mostly because homey talks about as much as my Jewish ex-mother in-law, a near impossible feat.  Seriously, I could barley get a word in! I don't know if he was excited-- actually, yes I do know that.  Based on his multiple phone calls before the date as well as texts.  A lil' eager beaver, you know?  You gotta play it KINDA cool, brotha! But we had a very enjoyable date and he had to split early to catch an early flight to Austin the next am. So...Fun? Yes. Sparks? Meh. I'm gonna go with "notsomuch."  Sigh.
But- the night was young! 
I met back up with Sexy Sue and friends, who at this point, had been out drinking since roughly 5pm and were a source of complete hilarity. Those stumblina's and I then decided to stumble over to The Chef's restaurant, in hopes of being fed and watered at a discount. Success!  
However, I then realized that was also committing me to hang out with The Chef for the night. Oh.  I have finally come to the decision that this is no longer going to happen.  We don't even DO anything when he stays over-- SERIOUSLY! I always pass out on him and then he leaves the next day for work again. I feel like I'm running a youth hostile or something.  I can't keep letting this happen. And, I promise, I won't. He's a sweetie, but that's enough of that. I'm even really too tired/lazy to hotlink the Chef to his past stories. There's really no point!
MOVIN' ON!
SUNDAY
Drummer Boy.
Woke up Sunday to a text from him sent at 3:15a and all it said 
was "late night." I am pretty sure Drummer Boy's pretty little head is filled with rocks in lieu of brains.  I haven't seen him in awhile because I'm old and usually passed out by the time he hits me up.  However, I did get tix to his band's upcoming show, so that should be interesting. Who knows if we'll even hang out that night, but I like to support all musicians I know in the city. And, what the hell else do I have to do, right??
SoCal.
SoConfusing!!!!
Yes, I'm sure you're as surprised as I am to see him back.  Sunday was a miserable rainy day and I think my dating life and menses started to get the best of me. I was feeling totally sorry for myself and just unhappy for whatever reason. It's something that rarely happens to me [NEVER in the summer, I might point out!] so when it does, I'm allowed to sulk.  
I decided to post on FB some questions for the universe: 
Questions for the Universe: Where is the sun? When will it be summer? How is it possible I don't have tickets for The Stokes OR LCD Soundsystem? Why do you hate me?

Within 2 mins of posting that, SoCal commented [yes commented, not just "liked" it] I'm feeling the same hate, if it's any consolation... need those LCD tix!
SIDEBAR: Have you noticed how many of these dating stories have something to do with Facebook? It is so brain-boggling to me sometimes. Anyway...
Seeing that SoCal was online, I just sent him a simple chat that said "Misery loves company."  This ended up launching a whole FB chat session. He asked how I was, I told him great! busy busy! Blah blah blah and then he asked me what I was up to that rainy day.  I told him I had just worked out and was considering a movie.  He asked which movie and when I gave a vague answer about "so many movies I wanted to see" he told me to narrow it down. Um...why?  So I asked "why all the movie questions? are you interested in movie'ing or something?" He said he would be but he was doing laundry and had his soccer game uptown at 9pm, so if I'd be willing to come to his hood, then we should do it. 
No, I should probably not be indulging these kinds of invites.  
But I was all sad and sulky and this was definitely something to do, right?
He told me I should come to his apt first and have a glass of wine while he folds his laundry.  I was like "this better not be some ploy to have ME do your laundry!" He swore it wasn't and told me to come as soon as I could.  So, I hopped in the shower, attempted to look pretty and then went outside to get the pretty immediately rained the f*ck right off of me.  Seriously, NYC does NOT WORK in the rain. 45 minutes, two subway attempts, two soaking wet boots and a jacket hood that acted as a rainbucket later, I was finally almost there.  SHEESH!
I tried to repair the rain damage and hoped it looked more "sexy damp" than "wet dog."  He was immediately cute and warm with me when I walked in and immediately felt much more comfortable than any time before.  We hung out, played with his dog, and cuddled on the couch for a bit and then went to a funny(ish) movie, where we sat cozy-close to each other with his hand on my thigh. It felt like a REAL date and I must say, a super fun one.  Afterwards, we parted ways at the subway and I texted him later about something on tv and also thanked him for a fun rainy day. He wrote right back saying the same and also telling me they won their soccer game and he scored 3 goals. Cute, right?  So...
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???? 
For real. I'm sure I won't hear from him again now in awhile.
It's not just a booty call- we actually hang out and TALK.
We have FUN.
He's intelligent.
Handsome.
Funny.
Successful.
I just really don't get it. And I'm kinda thinking I never will.  I think I'm officially signing off into the "aloof zone" on this one and seeing what will happen.  I just can't make any more effort here.  If this guy doesn't realize I'm somethin' a little less ordinary, then screw him. I just can't help but be a little sad about it...
So, now i'm off to drown my sorrows in some 

heaven. help. me.

7 comments:

  1. i have to agree with you...men are hard to figure out. better not try. i like nocal he's like a rubberband he gets close and then has to back away for bit but will always bounce back. lame analogy?
    seriously you are so funny and cute. i love your blog. you always make me laugh.

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  2. I think it's a safe bet that The Streak reads/has seen your blog. You linked to his blog from your twitter account, which has a link to this blog. For sure he's tech-savvy enough to follow where his blog traffic comes from. As soon as you did that, I thought "oh crap, he's going to read this."

    I'm so curious about what he said to make you suspicious.

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  3. What? I linked to his blog from Twitter??? Which twitter account? Assuming the one NOT linked to this blog. But who knows. I am clearly an internet idiot and should not even be blogging.

    What he said to make me suspicious: He was commenting on something and sent me a link- to MIM's blog {mormon in manhattan}. Once you're there, I'm screwed. ;) How he GOT to there is more bemusing, but I still haven't figured out how to ask that one yet. And, I'm over it. Hopefully he won't hold any of this against me!!!

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  4. Ah, a subtle hint that he knows! Yep, it was the twitter account linked to this blog. Abt the amazeballs dog eyebrows. But also, couldn't he follow your tweets to mim and clink on the link to her blog? Perhaps I spend too much time on your blog (apparently) but I find it tres amusing. Good luck!

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  5. I love your blog. You constantly keep me laughing with your storytelling abilities!

    P.s. as a 5'10" woman, I totally get where you're coming from with the height thing!

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  6. Cynful- you rawk! thanks for feelin' me!

    Emily- you're hilarious and, no there is no such thing as too much time on my blog. I love the love!

    Laurel- LOVE the rubber band analogy! Keep 'em comin!

    apparently i love exclamation points today!!!!!!!!

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  7. i read the whole thing in one sitting, do i get brownie points?

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