Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Dating story #69, No, I'm not dead.

"Lindsey, did you lose the password to your own blog?"


Here's the low dizzown from LindseyTown. 

In the past few months, I haven't written because I've been

I'm still those things right now, however I DO have a little time to write. I'm just in a bit of a conundrum. 

I actually LIKE someone.

I've been "seeing" this person for almost 2 months now, and I feel like blogging about it is going to "jinx" it or something.

I know, I know.  That's stupid right?

Keep your opinions to yourself!

No, sorry. I have no idea if it's stupid or not.  But this isn't your normal, run-of-the-mill dating situation. [why would it be? It is ME we're talking about, after all]. Also, this guy is incredibly tech-savvy and lord knows if he's already found this blog or not. It's pretty well hidden but that means nothing to the internet hacker genius eggheads of the world. 

It's a mostly abnormal dating sitch because I thought this, like many others, was just going to be a fun, flirty visit to Flingtown, USA.  Apparently, so did he, since on the second time we hung out--the first being a wild night of open bars wherein he got blackout drunk, was thrown in a cab home by some moronical guy friends and proceeded to lose his iPhone. Yeah-- so that second time I made some joke about us having to get along since we have a mutual friend (which isn't, btw, the way we met ironically!) and he immediately said:
HIM: "Whoa, well I'm going to business school in a year so I'm not looking for anything serious."
ME:  "Whoa whoa whoa- you don't know anything about me. So, umm...chill out. Can we just have fun?"

But of course, his words have haunted me ever since the relationship started to evolve.  And also, so fucking what if you're going to B-school in a year?  
When one goes off to B-school, do they also DIE and/or cease to exist anymore?
I chose to ignore that and focus more on his actions, which have been inconsistently consistent.  

Yeah. I'm scared. I'm freaking a little. I haven't really liked anyone in so long.
But I know exactly what to do here: nada.

It's really an excellent practice in being patient, playing it cool, and doing all the things I've tried and been horribly unsuccessful at since I've been writing this blog.  

So, everyone send some good ju ju out to the universe for me and hopefully I'll have some happy stories to tell.  
Or, some really awful ones.
Either way, you guys WIN! 

And, as a reward, here's another interesting story!
We all remember SoCal, right? [Duh].
Hard to believe I met him almost a year ago and have been sporadically seeing him since. The last I saw him was at my beach house over the summer.  We had a super fun day and that was pretty much it.  Which, was really fine by me. After all, I've contemplated moving him into the friend zone several times.
Anyho, just before Halloween I reached out to him since I had some concert tix I couldn't use and, since he's my concert dude, I thought maybe he'd want them. Turns out he couldn't go, but said we should meet up for a drink soon.  So, even though I had started seeing the aforementioned guy [who I have not given a blog name to, did you notice?], I figured I could use a distraction. Plus I was still keen on making the friend zone transition and thought maybe that could happen on this occasion.  However, after him being at soccer practice he texted me that he was exhausted and on the couch watching tv. He asked whether I wanted to come over there and just chill with him or reschedule.  I was also exhausted from 3 hours of band rehearsal and also wanted to avoid his apartment and any potential situations there, so we decided to raincheck it.  
Cut to Thanksgiving.
I'm home in Texas.
DYING to receive comm from guy I like and, upon not getting any, became a rabid social media stalker. [Oy.]
So I happened to come across some pics SoCal posted on FB and I went to his page to see more.  Lo and behold, what did I find there???
"SoCal is in a relationship with FakeBoobs McCougar!"
[Do you like my name for her? I do!]
um...secondly, WHAT!
a) He has a GF?

I was dying over this.  Not because I, in any way, shape or form, wish to be the person in the relationship with him. But mostly because I just didn't think that would happen. Anytime soon, or ever.
Now, FakeBoobs McCougar has appeared in some FB activity for quite awhile. Mostly starting in the Spring. And, she even popped up in a text message when he was out at the beach with me over the summer. (Not stalking, his iPhone just popped up with the text and I was sitting next to it.)
So, I worked on wrapping my head around that which proved to be an interesting distraction from my yearning for comm from you-know-who.
Anyway, by the time I got back to NYC sunday I started becoming desperate since I have yet ANOTHER set of concert tix I couldn't use since I will be in VEGAS visiting MIM that weekend! 
After several failed attempts to sell on Craigslist and to other concert loving friends, I decided it was time to contact SoCal. Plus I figured, hey! He can take his FB Official GF to it!
Upon texting him to see if he wanted the tix, he responded:
HIM: "I don't know them. Are they any good? Let's meet for drinks this week and you can fill me in."
I was not expecting that!
Color me unbelievably intrigued. 
Does he want to sit me down and officially tell me about his GF (even thought FB already told me that)?
Does he just want to catch up?
Will he try to make a move on me, like a total sleazeball?
Oh the possibilities!!!
So obvi, I'm going.  And, it's TONIGHT.
If curiosity killed the cat, I must be some kind of mountain lion 'cause I am soo curious about this I cannot wait!  
Does this make me a sad, sad person?
Who. The. Hell. Cares.
Please note, I have no desire to be anything more than friends with him at this point, especially considering what's currently going on in my life.  But you can bet your sweet bippy's that I'm not gonna bring up the GF thing first!  
Alas, dear readers, (if there are, in fact, ANY of you still out there!) we will have to wait until tomorrow to see what this is about.

Sorry for the radio silence. 
Thanks for missing me. 
I missed you too.

Despite several attempts to sell these on craigslist 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dating story #68, Serial Dating: The Lindsey Story

Hey beautiful ghouls! 

Hope y'all had a spooktacular Halloween!  Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE Halloween?  I love dressing up. Getting to see what life feels like in something out of the ordinary. And I couldn't wait for this year, since I had decided to fulfill a life-long dream. 
That's right.
Wonder Woman.

I've been obsessed ever since my sister, BH, and I were kids in our Underoos.  Ps- look at her adorably chubbo legs!  And my nose scab!

Plus, for years the IT guys have taken to calling me "Wonda' Woman" (not exactly sure why-- boots maybe?).  So I decided it was finally time to reveal my alter-ego to the masses, at mega fun Halloween party last Thursday. Here's some pics!

I found my counterpart!
with one of my "bro" friends
Check the boots, y'all! 

It was a supa' fun night fo sho, but nothing can really compare to what's been going on lately.  So, instead of going into long-ass sagas, like I know you all LOVE, I'm going to give you the bullet-point catch up!

Remember him? Hot, fun summer fling out in Fire Island? Yep, that's the one.
We would exchange occasional texts and I wrote to him when the "HURRICANE OF THE CENTURY" was threatening to slam into Long Beach, NY where I know he lives.  So, being the nice girl I am, I checked in to make sure all was ok.  He had just had major knee surgery and was recuperating from it and seemed very appreciative of my check-in, reciprocating with inquires about how I was doing, etc.  A nice little text-change, if you will.  And that was that till about a month later, he wrote me out of the blue:

HIM:  "hey, what's up. Sorry I haven't called but I've been recovering from knee surgery. Also as you might have imagined, my availability is a little different on the mainland than it is on FI. Hope all is well tho. Didn't mean to be rude."
[Cut to me wondering why the hell he was apologizing for not calling??]
ME: "No worries, I've been super busy. How's the knee?"
[back and forth chit chat about the knee. So I decided to invite him to this cool jazz open bar party at the Top Of the Standard, since he's a fellow music lover.]
HIM: "Hey, it sounds like a blast but I have a girl in my real, non-Fire Island life. Figured u should prob know that. Hence the statement "my availability is a little different on the mainland." That may change ur mind about the invite.  
[WHAAAT! Omg. Who would have EVER figured that out from those words?!]
HIM:  Oh also, if you could, hit me up during work hours.

I'm sorry, by "work hours" did he mean "scumbag hours?"  And, can someone please explain to me how this dipshit thinks he can justify what he did simply because he has a separate "Fire Island" life and "mainland" life???!!  

Seriously, it just never stops being entertaining does it?  


Clearly, I did NOT invite Girl's Name to that party at the Standard and figured it may be a good opp to meet some ad industry hotties.  
No dice.
So as I started out the giant windows at some of the most breathtaking views of NYC, absently sipping my free Goose n' soda, my eyes settled on something across the bar.  Something so hot, I wasn't certain it was actually real yet.
Thick, wavy dark hair.
Amazingly handsome, stubbly face.
Ruggedly chic clothing.
And, once he stood up-- TALL. Freaking TALL.  
I literally had to rub my eyes to make sure I was, in fact, seeing this. And then, he and his friend got up and walked toward the back.  I watched for a sec and then thought, "Well, I OBVIOUSLY need to go look at the view from over there!" So I got up and walked over, but alas, no sightings of him.  
One of the weirdos at the party asked if I had checked out the view from the roof and, since I had not, I went up with them out of sheer boredom.  We walked out to the roof and BEHOLD! There he was, taking goofy pics with his 
I went right in, harassing them on their poses and this worked me perfectly into their conversation. I then discovered this tall, dark and HELL-O you're HOT guy was also Scottish. 
What's with the Green Card Special lately?
And can we also discuss how the accent just made him more HOT, if that's even possible?
So, I sat down and talked with Scot on the roof for at least an hour.  During that time, we came to find out we WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE BUILDING.
Hold. The. Phone.
There is NO way this dude could work in my building within my agency, and I'd never seen him. There's no humanly possible way I could MISS him!  So we exchanged numbers with grand plans of meeting up for lunch, etc the following week.
The bar then shooed everyone out as they do at 10p every night so we left. Downstairs, he implied he needed to hang with his friend as he was in town from Paris. I was sad to leave since we were having so much fun, but I understood plus I was starving and needed to eat, so we said goodbye. 
10 whole minutes later, Scot texted me "Hey let me know if you want to hang out after you eat a bite."
Umm...why did we just leave each other?!
I decided not to question it.
I told him to meet me at Mother's Ruin in 30 mins. And, he did.
We had a blast, he was great to talk to and after a little bit he even asked me, in his charmingly adorable accent, "Can I kiss you?"  Ummm...yes please NOW!
I was loving it all. But of course, it was nearing 1a on a weeknight and I decided to be responsible [for a change] and go home.  He was leaving town the next day for the weekend but we talked about meeting up the following week.
And then?
Radio Silence.

I even asked my security guard at work (who I love to death!) what the deal was. If this guy was like a dragon or the Tooth Fairy or some shit, but apparently he really DOES work in the building.   
Eventually, I let it go.  Until last week.  When he texted me.
One month later.
At 1:41am.

Really, dude?  No, like REALLY really?  

What did it say, you ask?  
"Whassup stranger?"

Oh you wanna know whassup, Scot? I'd LOVE to tell you, but I promised my mother I'd stop using that kind of language.



Roc may be one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Ever.  
Genuinely caring. Smart. Successful. Incredibly hard working in finance and technology.
Good dresser. Smells great. Always asks about ME, how I'm doing, recalling funny stories about my bosses. 
We dated consistently for almost 6 weeks.  
He never let me pay.
We talked or texted at least once every day.
It was perfect.
On paper.
In reality, as my ever-wise security guard said, "Dude just don't make yo water boil, huh?"
Nope. He sure didn't.
But it seemed so awful to have to end it.  Luckily, he was going on a 2 week trip to Russia and Prague so I'd have a little break to mull it over, see if I missed him and stuff.
Of course, I got distracted by life, other guys, NYC! I barely thought of him.
And, crazy enough, he must've felt the same way.
Haven't heard from him since he left!  
It feels strange but at the same time, we avoided an annoying and awky convo.! 


[to be continued....!]