Monday, November 8, 2010

Dating Story #14, a Foreign Affair

Guttentag, lovlies! 

Shall we sprechen about Friday night?
I finally secured a date with an online guy I'd been chatting with for quite awhile now and a couple of other dates we had set up had fallen through.  I liked what he had to say, not to mention the fact that he's 6'4, a former pro tennis player and seemingly HOT in his pics.  I had quickly tired of this back and forth, so I finally texted him one day:
ME:  "I promise you won't regret meeting me. And, that's not cocky, just confident."
HIM:  "Yes it is cocky and I like it!"
->Ladies:  Let this be a lesson in the importance of confidence (or at least the appearance of it) and self-PR.  
So, I met zee German Friday night for drinks on the LES.  He was just as good-looking as his pics and had cool style. Definitely very euro-sexual, but cool.  He proceeded to tell me that I was only his 4th online date and the other 3 explain why he was hesitant to go out with me.  Let's just say one turned out to be an exotic dancer and the other...a Trannie.  A shim. A dude looks like a lady.   Poor, poor guy!  
So zee German and I had a nice time chatting over several beers. He's very smart, ambitious, AA (yay!) and has traveled and lived all around the world.  Definitely an interesting guy, just not sure if that "spark" is there. But I'd definitely be willing to give it another date to find out.  OH- and he Facebook'd me on saturday.  Maybe this is his profile pic: 

Yeah, color me intimidated.  I'm doing butt squeezes as I write this just to try to keep up with that.  Yowza!

So the night ended with a friendly hug and cheek kiss (hence me wondering about the "spark") and a mutual desire to hang out again.  We'll see.  You might think my night ended here.  But, it did not.  I walked into my lobby only to see that Gramercy had been texting me about meeting up for a drink.  Since I had only met Gramercy on my webchat that one time, I figured it was time to get this over with.  So, even though I was pretty tipsy, I agreed to meet him for ONE drink.  He is definitely cute, and a tall, dare I say burly, type of guy. Proof? He PICKED ME UP like I was a feather. Why? I really can't recall, but I'm sure it was on topic. And, being 5'9, I don't get picked very often so it's very strange for me.   Gramercy moved in for the kill almost 15 minutes into our meeting up-- I guess he counted our video chat as a first date?  Not a bad smoocher, but I was like "Dude, chill out. Let's talk."  Then I remembered why I don't like this guy. He's arrogant, narcissistic and really not that funny.  But you know what IS funny?  After awhile I noticed him doing something strange so I asked if he had the hiccups.  He then informed me it was actually a tick brought on by lack of sleep or excessive drinking.  Now, I'm never one to make fun of things that people can't physically control.  But the fact that this guy was pretty much a total douche-b made it almost seem karmic! Seriously, it is HARD to ignore. At one point I really thought he was going into cardiac arrest!!  And, seeing as I hadn't brought my defibulators with me, I figured it was time to bid Gramercy adieu.

Lesson:  If it seems like a douche, and acts like a douche...yeah, you get it. 


  1. Lindsey, love reading abt your dating adventures and misadventures. As a 32 years young Bostonian, I am now back in the bizarro yet fun dating "game" after an 8 year hiatus and can relate on so many levels. You are fab. Thanks for sharing and keeping us single gals so thoroughly entertained!

  2. yay for foreign. i love foreign.
    i'm engaged to foreign.

    can you please get a book deal?

  3. hm...

    i'll think about it and come up with a plan. I totally think women would go crazy for it. these stories are pretty epic.

  4. You are far too kind, sista! Thanks for all the amore!