Thursday, December 30, 2010

Helloo from the Left Coast!

Hello gorgeous readers!  How've you been?!

I've felt quite disconnected the past few days since I've been here...which may be a good thing?  I'm in LA staying with my bestie, Jendel, and her bf, G, who is undoubtedly regretting agreeing to have me as his houseguest for EIGHT days.  [hee hee!]

We were lucky enough to get invited to their friend's timeshare in Palm Desert, so we were hangin out there for the last few days. And when I say "hangin" I mean complete vegging-out slothery. AMAZING! Not to mention, a burst of NICE. FREAKIN'. WEATHER!  Which, from what I've heard and seen
from the NYC "snowpocalypse" that happened a mere DAY after I departed, I'm pretty freakin lucky.  Check out this pic, sent to me courtesy of The Chef
 Ouch.  That hurts. But tres cute that The Chef sent it to me!  Speaking of, I had started to ponder what the roster o' dudes was up to and if anyone of them were missing me [ie. had they forgotten about me yet!] You know, outta sight, outta mind...  Funny enough, I heard from THREE of them all at the same time last night here!  How random is that?  But it definitely made me feel all warm and fuzzy!  I mean, how badly would it SUCK to have all that groundwork I've done go to waste while I was gone.  But all the boys came through with a cute/sweet little "check-in" text.  Although, there was one VERY NOTEWORTHY text-change between Me & The Streak. Even though I haven't blogged much about The Streak since the last time we hung out [see: mid-November], he and I have had many a text-change and IM conversation.  He's been a very tough nut to crack.  He's amazingly brilliant and funny, and we always have a GREAT banter back and forth, but at the end of the day, he never has asked me to hang out again and I just figured he's not that into it.  Lo and behold, he surprised the hell out of me early this week with this text-change [also tweeted a few days ago, so skip if redundant]:
HIM: Also can we totes play back in NY?
ME: Um duh. Yes we can play,you know where 2 find me. 
HIM: Just saying that you're pretty and sh*t and I'd like to "see" you.
ME: Haha! Yes, I'm down for being "seen"...
Um, I'm sorry--- did a boy just tell me I was PRETTY and express interest in SEEING ME? Okay, it was all over text, but still!  That's progress, right? [kinda?]  Anyway, I'm just curious if it was a drunk text, so I guess all will be revealed upon my return.  
SoCal popped in again today to tell me he heard my voice-over on a commercial.  Weeee! I LOVE when that happens.  It's kinda like "reminder advertising" for me! 

In other news, we had one hilarious night in Palm Desert when we slothed around for too long and then realized that post 8:30p on a weekday there, NO restaurants are open.  So, we ended up here:
This led us to discover something very interesting happening on their sauce  packaging. 

Not to mention the way we felt after we ate.  Lets just say, we were all kinda in some pretty heavy denial. Not to mention, pretty heavy food coma. Bleech.
This never happened.

That's it for now!  Sorry nothing juicier to report, but that's the way it goes when you're away from your home[boys]!

Let's just hope there's more to report post-New Year's....


Saturday, December 25, 2010

Dating story #27, a very un-silent night.

Merry Christmas, Pretties!

I am currently en route to the City of Angels and, thanks to modern technology, my flight has interwebs! That's pretty fantastic, as now I can recount the tales of last night.

'Twas the night before Christmas
As I donned high heel shoes
To go out on the town
Like any good Jew
If you'd told me of this merriment
I would not believe
Yet it seems the night before Christmas
Is the new New Year's Eve!

During the day yesterday, I met up with my awesome trainer-friend [triend?] Car for one last ass-kicking before I go eat my face off in LA.  As we had our weekly boy recap, we talked about plans for the night.  I told her that SoCal had wanted to meet up before I left, but the Chef had also been steadily [but not overwhelmingly] texting me about coming by his west village restaurant to have some drinks and food at the bar.  So CH decided to join me for phase #1 of the night and then we'd move on to the LES to meet up with a boy she's been dealing with and I figured at that point, SoCal would be ready to meet up as well.  I also guessed it would be the perfect opportunity to get to know the Chef a little better but would be able to leave him at his restaurant [working] and meet up with SoCal later on.
So, we got to the adorable, sexy Betel (pronounced "Beetle") and got comfy at the bar, which had a whole slew of merry diners already seated at it.  As it turns out, they weren't just regular diners, but the restaurant's [primarily Australian] INVESTORS and OWNERS [and a few hussies along with them], who insisted Car and I scoot down and join them. The Chef then came out to say hello and, I must say, he was way cuter than I remembered.  It must've been his "disco sherlock holmes" getup from the first meeting that threw me off, but he's borderline HOT!  I'm not usually a fan of blondes, but he has wavy, shaggy, surfer-esque locks, blue eyes and a pretty nice physique. AND, this time I could also see the large tattoo on his forearm, which gave him an edge that I find pretty sexy.  Let the games begin!  And by "games" I mean: free cocktails, free food, festive music and basically the equivalent of a crazy private party with wild Aussies and resto staff that we were lucky enough to just happen upon.  Car and I seem to get into these random, fun situations together and we are pretty excellent wing-women.  
One of the Aussie owners who looked insanely similar to Stanley Tucci was very much a fan of ours.  But, as he observed my sporadic interactions with The Chef, he proclaimed across the table to me: "I think he LIKES you!"  Yeah, thanks Nancy Drew but it's pretty freakin' obvious at this point.  And when I went to the restroom, Car txted me that Aussie Stanley Tucci also confessed to liking me and apparently said "This should be interesting!" Um, the only thing interesting there is that I have zero interest in you, Stanley, so move aside.  I have a chew toy courting me!  Sidebar:  Yes, the Chef is 25. And yes, I have sworn off chewys and have recently done a very good job [patting self on back] of sticking to that rule.  But I must say, this boy is an old soul.  There's something very different about him and something, dare I say, more mature than most of the 30+ guys I know.  
The party was in full swing, and the boys were shutting down the kitchen seeing as the place was totally devoid of anyone but staff or friends, and Car and I thought this might be our time to bust a move.  I had received a text from SoCal that just said "Babe." Hmm...that sounds kinda un-sober! [And, accurate.]  So I went to the bathroom to re-spackle a bit and prep to move on.  I also texted the Chef to come meet me in the sexy bathroom hallway so I could tell him goodbye...and maybe have a little lip-action. He totally choked. I gave him every look, every opportunity, but he did not complete the transaction. Oh well.

I then got another text from SoCal that he was at a bar on the Upper East side [blech. not going there!]  
But Car and I figured if he wanted to see me, he could meet us wherever we ended up. So we prepared to leave.  And then, halfway into our coats, wondered WHY the hell we would leave a place with a) crazy people b) unlimited, free Veuve Clicquot.  So we removed our jackets and stayed.  The Chef then realized he needed to up his game or lose me to some crazy [non-Tucci] Aussie, so he asked if I wanted to go into a room I had earlier named "The Vulva Room" due to it's amazingly vaj-looking light fixture.  So, I obliged and homeboy FINALLY made his move.  Not bad, yet still, a little too much teeth and not enough tongue.  I think I'm going to have to start a "Kissing Workshop" and make it mandatory for all men to attend.  But he's pretty adorable. And, told me several times that I'm "f*cking gorgeous," which is pretty lovely to hear.  
For your reference.
After awhile, the party took a weird turn.  And by that I mean I looked at the bar and there was a girl lying atop it, prepping to have a spring-break style "Body shot" done off of her. Classy!

So the Chef, Car and I decided to bounce in search of food and Car's boy toy. The Chef also told me how much he wanted to cook for me, and he thought he should cook me breakfast this morning.  Bold move, and I know it probably sounds dirty or presumptuous, but it was actually just really sweet the way he said it.  Not to mention I've never been involved with someone like this and the idea of a man cooking for me is incredibly sexy for some reason!  So, I let him.  [OBVI!]  He was a perfect gentleman slumber-mate and he managed to rummage through my [currently frat-boy esque] refrigerator and whip up an INSANE and gourmet breakfast for me.  Hot. Diggity. Damn! 
Merry Christmas to ME!

What ever happened to SoCal, you ask?  Well apparently he also had several libations and passed out.  Ya snooze ya lose, sugarl!  See you in 2011, buddy.  He did say he wants to see me as soon as I get back.  We'll see if 8 days away changes that. In fact, I'm quite interested to see how many of the guys in the current line-up will still be around when I return.  Guess we'll just have to wait and see!
In the meantime, crazy serial dating Lindsey could probably use this nice escape to LA-la land and some much-needed time with bestie Jendel.  And who knows? Maybe I'll even get some actual SLEEP!  
More to come from the west coast.  And how about you?  Was your Christmas NICE or NAUGHTY


Friday, December 24, 2010

Dating story #26, ice ice baby.

Last night was the greatly anticipated date with SoCal!

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, he had messaged me to be at the Standard hotel at 8p, "sexy warm comfy casual attire."  This was a major fashion curveball thrown at my plans for a fun, flirty, sexy dress and stockings and it somewhat stressed me out for a good hour yesterday.  Why? I really have no idea.  I guess the pressure and anticipation of the all-too-rare ACTUAL date must've gotten to me!  Plus, it meant I couldn't abide by my tried and true motto for date-wear:
When in doubt, legs out!
But the legs were clearly staying IN last night, after reading the word "WARM" with extreme trepidation. See, I'm a Texas girl. I like warmth. In fact, I like to say I'm "In season" during the summertime, you know, like fruit. Or flowers.  But, I finally decided on an acceptable cute/sexy jeans and boots outfit situation and felt ok. UNTIL.... about 6pm.  This is the moment when I realized, once and for all, I can NEVER, EVER again eat Cilf Bars. Apparently these delicious and satisfying snack bars are the equivalent of gastrointestinal NAPALM to my stomach.  And, well... KA-BOOM!  Disaster struck about an hour before I was suppose to leave for my date.  I'm talking SERIOUS "issues" accompanied with needing to be in the fetal position in my bed to feel any kind of okay.  So, I texted SoCal a casual note saying I was dealing with a "situation to be explained later" and could I please delay our date an hour and a half?  He was cool about it and very patient with me, which is always a good sign. Another good sign?  God BLESS this stuff!  I mean, I probably won't go again until 2011, but it totally saved my ass last night [pun INTENDED!].  *Sorry if you think this is TMI or crossing the line, but this is just real life, people, and that's what I report.  I'm also Jewish and we, for reasons unknown, live for discussing our bowels.*  

Anyway, about an hour and a half later I was finally okay [I prayed!] to leave the house. Funny how I no longer even cared about my outfit!  So I bundled up and went on my way to the Standard wondering what the hell we'd be doing in 28 degree weather. I didn't have to wait long to find out as my taxi pulled up front and I exclaimed "OH HOLY SH*T!!!" 
It seems as if our dear Standard has installed a freakin' ICE SKATING RINK this winter. I stopped at that point to ponder if the universe was trying to play a cruel joke on me.  But then I reminded myself that a super cute guy had gone the extra mile to plan a super cute date for me.  That talk went like this: "SUCK IT UP, LINDSEY!!!"  And so, I did.  Luckily we started with a cocktail to try to warm up our insides before going outside.  And I was also confident in the knowledge that SoCal is from California and doesn't like winter either.  
Fortunately he DID like my outfit and made a point of saying so. I ADORE a man who can give a good compliment.  It makes all that spackling, teasing and glossing well worthwhile.  And we had a lovely time ice-skating-- all 15 minutes of it!  But it was still a really cute date experience and we followed it with a nice hot toddy.  We were both ready to leave the Standard and SoCal invited me back to his place for a glass of wine and to meet his dog, Otis.  I agreed but told [myself] that I was DEFINITELY not staying the night or, if I did, I was going to "behave."  Yeah...NONE of that happened. Oopsie!  But let me just say, even though I'm a Jew, I had a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS last night. And I figured, after all, it was [kind of] our 3rd date, so why not let SoCal Deck my Halls and Jingle Bell Rock me?  'Tis the season, right? Don't judge. 

AND...he's already texted that he had a great time and wants to see me before I leave for LA tomorrow. Weee!  
Hope you all have a happy happy + merry merry holiday! 


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Dating story #25, It's the most wonderful-est time of the year!

It really IS!  
Well, 'cept for the fact that it's freakin' freezingballz in NYC and I LOATHE winter.  Seriously, my nose has been running for an entire month. Gross.
And, speaking of, I'd like to tell you about one of my biggest fears.  Do any of you ever use the NETI POT?
In case you've never been acquainted, it's this little watering-can thingie that acts as a nasal douche [seriously, I'm not just being vulgar. usually I am, but not right now.]  You put a saline mixture in there and flush your nose out, which is supposed to help your sinuses/allergies.  I have serious sinus issues and a lot of people SWEAR by this thing.
This dude is making it look WAY too fun
I've included this picture, mostly because it's gross, awesome and informative.  
Anyway, I've been using this thing lately and, you wanna know what's really cool?  One day, whilst typing away at work, I leaned over to grab something from my desk drawer and my nose proceeded to POUR WATER OUT LIKE A FAUCET! Literally, it was like someone turned on a hose in my nose.  And we're talking, like, FOUR HOURS after I had nose-douched!  Um, are you KIDDING me? So, I have immediately discontinued use. Can you even imagine if that happened to me on a date???  Maybe there's some guys who are into that sort of thing, but my instincts tell me I better play it safe...

Last night, I meet up with superfun friend S-Bomb in Brookland for a dirrty south rap show. This is her sort of thing and she invited me along. I figured it would definitely be an experience.  The crowd was...interesting. [see: "urban"].  But we danced and had fun, and they even sang [rapped] a few songs I knew by Jay-Z and others.  Who knew rappers did covers?  
Rapper "Bun B"
Pre-show, we met for a drink and a chat and, realizing I was probably not far from The 'Stache, I decided to make him aware of this with a txt.  He wrote right back that he was a block away!  So he stopped in to say hi for a minute, but didn't stay for a drink since he had hot food with him (and is apparently lacking in the microwave dept).  He did, however, tell me to hit him up after the show. And S-bomb confirmed that he is def hot! So, after I had reached my rap capacity, we decided to bust  outta there.  The 'Stache texted that he didn't really feel like leaving his house due to the fact it's COLD AS SH*T right now, but I should join him at his place for a glass of wine.  So the lovely S-bomb walked me over there since Brookland is huge, scary and confusing with large parks that undoubtedly have Bloods and Crips hiding in them, waiting to score another tear tattoo on their face. I really love her for doing this, especially since it was ridic cold last night! But it was also definitely worth it for her, as we came upon this photo opp: 
So The 'Stache and I had a cozy night in and I have to say, he's pretty interesting.  Not exactly sure how I feel about him, oh- and I think he's 28, just hovering on the top of the chewy scale.  And, speaking of, The Chef was also blowing up my bberry last night!  Homeboy really wants to hang out and, even though he was working at the restaurant last night, he said it was "A slow night. Quite boring. Maybe if there was someone at the bar that I could periodically check up on..."  Aw! He's cute. [and 25]. But it could be worth a shot, right?  
Good morning, NYC!
Anyway, I was really not happy waking up at 7:30a and realizing I was still in Brookland. So I decided to leave without waking The 'Stache [he could learn a thing or two about a stealth escape!] Sigh...nothin' like doing 
the walk/drive of shame home. From another city. In fishnets.  

In other news, I have a REAL, actual date tonight with SoCal. As in made plans in advance, real date.  He had also said when we made the date that he wanted to do something "fun and different, not just drinks." So I'm super intrigued by this.  Got a message from him this morning that said "Meet me at the Standard at 8pm. Sexy, casual, comfy warm attire."  CRAP! 
I had been brainstorming date wardrobe all week and had decided on sexy stockings, cute black dress and high boots. Now THIS??  I have already consulted with 3 top fellow fashionista friends this morning and I think we've netted out on: Skinny jeans, high boots (but lower heel), sexy top and sweater or cardigan. I am DYING to know what we will be doing! And, if it involves being any kind of cold for a period of 20 minutes or longer, I'm ending this date early.  BFWB told me to relax and try not to judge before I even go.  Good boy advice. I don't think of myself as a "control freak" but just someone who generally likes to be in-charge. Hmm...maybe those ARE the same thing?  
Wish me luck, lovelies!  Details to come [obvi!].  And I will leave you with this message I found in my new Benefit eyeshadow box:
words to live by

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Beauty-full Tuesday: Take it off, baby!

Hello, beauties!

Sorry the beauty-full Tuesday is coming when Tuesday is almost wednesday. Ah well...que sera sera.

Today's feature is something I deem absolutely necessary.  Ok, true, nothing is as necessary to me as my precious concealer, but this is clearly a makeup essential. 
Let's face it, taking off makeup is a pain in the wahtoosie and I pretty much LOATHE IT, especially the eye makeup part of it.  And all those removers that say they remove "all eye makeup, even waterproof mascara?" LIARS! 
But here is something that ACTUALLY WORKS.  So much so, I've gotten 3 friends hooked on it as well.  Drumroll please...
Sens' Eyes by Makeup Forever
It. Freaking. Works.
For best results:
Put a small amount on a cotton pad and simply hold on top of eye makeup (don't rub) for a few seconds.  It kind of just absorbs it!  Then you can go back with a q-tip if you need to or wipe GENTLY to get the rest off.  But it's truly fabulous.  Order it {here}.


Last night, BFWB and I went to my fave gastropub Mary Queen of Scots (yes, again) for a new friend's [who also works there] bday party.  She had invited me and I knew the Brit would be there, but I kind of didn't care one way or another.  Clearly, I'm not so into it.
We got there pretty late and the party was in full swing. the Brit ended up right in front of my barstool but his back was to me, so I decided to playfully snap one of his suspenders. [yes, suspenders] to get the initial hello out of the way. He then turned to look at me and STARED BLANKLY as if he had never seen me before in his life.  Funny how I had JUST SEEN HIM roughly 30 hours prior and he looked at me like a martian. BIZ-ARRE!  He then said he was joking [oh, hilarious!] and continued to act strangely. Or maybe he was just acting British-ly? Either way, it was the perfect way for me to not have to deal with him at all and move on to the cute, funny and tall chef who was definitely into yours truly.  He even demanded to try on my all-sequined blazer.  I have photo evidence.  Deciding whether to release it or not yet... Ah, twist my arm. 
Who can resist a knight in shining sequins?
Sidenote: upon sending him this pic today, he remarked that it may be the most ridiculous outfit he's worn in years and that, combined with the jacket, he looked like some sort of "Disco Sherlock Holmes." HA!  So me n' the Chef chatted for a loong time. He also said he'd "really love to cook for me." And the way he said it was tres romantic! So, I'm liking this idea.  And then, of course, he told me he's 25. I'm not liking that idea.  But I'm sort of torn this time, as he really seems wise beyond his years.  Toughie!
So today, in another surprise moment, the Brit finds me on facebook ("mild stalking" he calls it).  He wrote me a very nice email saying he lost his phone last night and therefore, my number, but he wanted to apologize in case he was rude to me, which was not his intention.  He was quite "pissed" he says and feels really bad about it.  Nice of a guy to actually proactively apologize for a change! He also asked if I "Fancy going to the cinema sometime this week."  Man, I love the lingo!  Not sure if I do fancy this cinema date, but I definitely fancy the gesture.

And that's all for today, folks!


Monday, December 20, 2010

Dating story #24, somebody stop me!

First off, I sometimes wonder if I can even call all of these posts "Dating stories" if they don't actually involve a "date." But I guess since they involve encounters with menfolk, it's probably okay. You don't mind, do you? Great.

Sidenote:  After months of fighting it, I have decided to enter the realm of "the Twitters" [as my mom calls it].  There's a link to it on the blog or you can find me @LinzMisadventur. Holla'

So, on Friday it was apparent to me that if I did not go home and sleep I might end up like this guy my friend saw at a resto:

Poor dude!  But seriously, I was on the road to that. And I had made a vow to myself to stay in Friday night, no matter how hard!  Good thing, too, since I passed out at 8pm trying to write an email.  But I woke up around midnight and couldn't decide what to do. Eat? Sleep? And of course, the txts started rolling in a little bit after that. SoCal txted after the show he went to (as he said he would) to see if I was up.  I could've rallied, but I also want to make it more of a challenge for him.  Force him into ACTUALLY dating me.  Who knew it would be so hard for a girl!  So I told him I was down for the count.  And, I actually took half a Xanex so I could konk out till morning.  But then, Drummer Boy hit me up! He wanted to know if I was out.  I told him the ever-popular "I just got home" story.  He was in my 'hood and asked if I wanted company.  I figured "What could be better? I get to stay in and have the party come to ME!"  Plus, he's fun, not so smart and super hot.  He is perfect for the purpose he serves, so I've decided he's a great guy to have in the current roster. [hee hee!]

Saturday night was PRINCE night! 
I went with BFWB and some other dude friends, and man were we fired up!  We started the night off at Indian resto Milon, which you've probably seen in a movie or two. I had never been and I LOVED it.  There's maybe one SCHMILLION twinkling lights and funky items in there. Kitch-tastic! 
this may cause a black-out someday
And then, it was off to see the tiny purple man! BFWB and I have been talking about this show for MONTHS, so pumped!  Speaking of, here's a cute pic of us taken during last week's holiday hysteria.
aw what a cute un-couple!

After we had our fill of Indian food and LED lights, we headed up to Madison Square Garden for what I can say with certainty was the BEST show I've ever seen. Ever.  Prince, all 5 feet of him, is still insanely good. The songs are timeless. And the fun factor is off the charts. I think my ass may still be in the Garden, because I totally danced it off!  Check out his badass stage!  It lit up in sync with the music. RAD.
Oh, and maybe during his 20 minute rendition of "Purple Rain" he called onto the stage, in no particular order: Jamie Foxx, Naomi Campbell, Whoopi, Alicia Keys, Spike Lee, and Sherri Shepherd, who had earlier that week scared him off the View by her commentMaybe I already bought tickets to his January 18 show. Ahh! 
Earlier in the night, I had a few text-changes with The Brit, who was bartending over at another popular bar called Highlands, sister bar to Mary Queen of Scots, scene of our bday bonanza.
He told me we should come by there later on, so...we did! Lord knows we could've called it a night after Prince, but...well, that's just not how we roll. [sigh]  So we had some fun flirtations and free drinks, courtesy of The Brit. But, BFWB was starving and I was over the bar, so we split. However, The Brit wanted to meet up after his shift. At 3am.  Perhaps I should refresh myself on Dating Story #1 again? Eff.  Alas, The Brit, albeit way too short for me, is adorably fun and cute to hang out with.  Again, not the best kisser, but I'm getting used to this issue.  We'll see what happens, but I really think I may need to scale back a bit. I went from a pretty big drought to...well, last week.  I won't recap it for you, but it's definitely a new record for me!
In other news, SoCal has asked me out on an ACTUAL date for this Thursday, so there is something to look forward to! 
Stay tuned, my pretties...

LESSON:  Slow. Down. Lindsey!  

Friday, December 17, 2010

Dating story #23, Happy Birthday to ME--Part Deux!

And....the week is finally OVER!!
Exhausting? OMG, yes.
Worth it? OMG YES!!

So my bestie KK and I have been friends since we met on the first day of college.  Our alphabetically similar Jewish last names had us sitting next to each other in a sea of 1,000 girls.  And we have been best friends ever since.  Ironically, we are both very tall [uncommon for Jews] and our birthdays are 1 day apart.  So we've been celebrating them together since the beginning. KK's is the day before mine [I like to remind people that she always has to be first!], and she was the lucky recipient of this abomination: 
I made the picture b&w for her because I thought it really "captured the moment," which may hinder you from seeing what you need to see.  This is Dolly.  She was given to bestie Jendel a few years ago as a joke [please do not ask why. The answer is simply that my friends are craaazy. Certifiable.]  When Jendel pulled Dolly out of a misleading upscale store bag at her bday dinner, we all laughed until we peed, at this disgustingly unbathed, botched haircut, bald spotted, lazy-eyed doll. And, someone got the idea to send her off to the rest of us on our bdays. I have been lucky enough to dodge the Dolly.  And when KK received her the day before me, I thought I was off the hook!  That bitch showed me...
Hello, Dolly!
Never have I been less excited to see a package show up for me. I'm stuck with her until February!! 
ponies in their natural habitat
And, it was a day of even more follies. I had written in our bday din email invite that we did not want any presents. Except that KK wants something small, like a pony.  Lo and behold, bestie Ray made that dream a reality. We are truly blessed to have such "special" friends! We had an amazeballs time at my new fave, Mary Queen of Scots [home of Candybar, if you'll recall]. All the hotties who work there were on last night and the flirtfest was on!  Candybar remembered me and was somewhat flirty, but then peaced out and didn't say goodbye. Whatevs.  We actually had an equally adorable server, The Brit, who didn't seem to mind our shenanigans. Pretty cute, huh?  He's not  super tall, but oooh that British accent is just sooooo
sexy! Maybe he has my number now too. And, maybe he texted me at 2:30a asking if I was still out playing and told me I should come over. [to Brooklyn!] Yeah, raincheck on that, mate. And besides, I was busy anyway. All day long yesterday, SoCal was blowing up my phone that he needed to give me a birthday kiss [undoubtedly still kicking himself for not kissing me goodnight on weds]. So I told him he was welcome to meet up with us at MQS after dinner.  He got there just after 12a, so technically bday was over, but I decided to give him a grace period. He chatted with a few of my friends, always a good test!  He seemed to survive that.  Then again, we all had several happy drinks in us so it was probably a good night to ease him into the insanity. This must've been the reason MIM and I were on fashion patrol. See pic I took of her as a ruse to really get a shot of Dumbo, the belt.   
Pls see elephant chain belt behind MIM. Thank you.
We left the bar around 1:30a and SoCal walked me home. He, too, pulled the "I need the bathroom" move, but in this case I really believed him! Also, he put so much pressure on this damn "bday kiss," I think he needed to be in a comfortable environment, as opposed to 25 degrees near a homeless person outside of my apt.  So we went upstairs and had a glass of wine.  He finally said "Ok, it's 11:59." I was like "No, it's 1:48a?" But then I realized he was trying to say it was one minute until my bday was over. He then said "We need to get you that birthday kiss." Yeah, OK SoCal, I get it. This ain't my first rodeo. Lay-it-on-me! So much build-up, GEEZ! I practically had to guide him in like they do to airplanes.  Not awky at all!  And, sadly, once again, not the best kisser either. Waah.
I think I can work with this though, and it's obviously worth it since I see some potential in him.  But there was a very strange "lizzard-tongue" type of thing happening, and I was NOT a fan.  Sigh... He then wanted to spoon on my couch, which is a lovely idea, although hardly feasible as I purposely bought a couch that was long but narrow as possible to make my NYC shoebox look bigger.  But he insisted. And then, he passed the F out. COLD.  So, I decided this would be a good time to do some light cleaning in my apt, eat some snacks, wash my face, and continue texting The Brit.  Then, around 3am-- I get a text from Teca wishing me a happy birthday!! I was floored by this.  I don't know how he knew, but I think it was cool he did that.  Although 3am? Damn service industry with their crazy vampire hours.  Not that I don't keep those myself. But it's not my JOB to either. Anyway, I totally miss Teca. I try not to think about him. I know he was just a fling, but he was a HOT fling. And it was fun, comfortable and just plain easy,never awky. Also, AMAAAZING kisser. Uggh. I really want him to:
-break up with dirty girl, STAT. 
-Then, bathe in Clorox. 
-Then, call me.

So at around 3:15a when SoCal was most likely already in Stage 3 of sleep, I tried to wake him up.  I was going to bed and felt bad leaving him on the couch. I tried to softly shake him and say his name. DEADNESS. Finally, I gave up and just yelled "HEY!!" which eventually roused him from his coma.  I told him I was going to bed and he could sleep there [JUST sleep] if he wanted to.  He was so groggy and confused, he almost chose the couch (dumb!) and then finally agreed to the bed, as long as he could leave his jeans on.  Honestly, it just gets weirder and weirder every day. So, jeans-on SoCal and I had a nice spoonable slumber until he split around 7am. It was a tad bit awky in the am, but I guess it always is when you don't really know someone yet. Once again, it was not my intention to slumber party [again], but how can I send someone who's just come out of a coma home at 3:30am?

I swear, I REALLY REALLY am trying to play by the rules here. As in actual dates, not just meet-ups. Kissing goodnight at the door, not having slumber parties so soon. Why is this SO hard?  
Speaking of hard, I can barely see out of my exhausted eyeballs. I'm off to have an intimate affair with my narrow-ass couch. Happy weekend-ing, pretties!

Lesson: I'm too tired and brain fried right now and really haven't figured this one out yet. So if you have one for me, feel free to weigh in!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dating story #22, Happy Birthday to ME!

Yes, it's that time once again, for me to turn another year un-wiser.

Last night was supposed to be my "night off" for the week, in prep for my birthday today and the rest of the week's events. Also, relief from my holiday bonanza Monday-Tuesday.  All I had to get through was my trainer and I could take it easy. But the universe had other plans for me.

I have been very over People Shopping lately, as I have actually been meeting guys out and about.  I generally quickly breeze over the daily emails I get [or "winks"- ew] from the dating sites and keep on moving.  I've become quite good at being very discerning and not wasting time or energy on meeting those guys unless I think they are really, REALLY worth it. Recall the post about how I go through the people shopping emails and weed out the riffraff. So yesterday I woke up to an email that was actually quite funny!  Topical, well-written, humorous.  So I logged online to face what I figured would inevitably be a 5'7"-er or 300lb-er. [I get a LOT of these.]  First: Check the height.  6'1"! Second: The pics.  Fingers crossed, I waited to see if it would be one of those "well, he's oookay...guess I could probably deal with a lazy eye..."  BUT, he was not that.  He was CUTE!!! Dare I say, hot??  I immediately wrote him back.  And he wrote me back. And we did this all day until he demanded to meet me for a drink last night.  Adios, coveted night off.  But worth it, OBVI!  He's a southern California boy, so we'll call this one SoCal
Just as adorable in person. Loves being active. LOVES music and live shows. Um...WHAT!  I was literally trying not to pee my pantyhose.  Oh, and he lives with someone:

I. Die.

So we talked for about 3 hours.  And he was there when my birthday "officially" began, which was kinda cute.  Oh, and at one point I caught him looking at something [on me] and asked if something was wrong. He said "Oh, um, sorry... I've caught myself staring at you several times tonight."  GOOSEBUMPS! 

Yeah, looks like SoCal is buyin' what I'm sellin.  BUT, of course, when it's dry, it's a drought. And when it rains, it pours.  When I first arrived at the bar, SoCal wasn't there yet, so I went to the ladies' room.  And got a text [my first] from The 'Stache.  Was wondering if I'd be hearing from him, and lo and behold, there he was asking if I was out n' about. Since my date had not yet started with SoCal, and I had no idea if it would bomb or not, I figured I could have my birthday cake and eat it too!  So I told The 'Stache I could maybe meet up later for a drink if he wanted.  
Back to SoCal: after we had our fill of drinks, he walked me back to my 'hood where he was going to catch a cab. He told me we were absolutely going out again and I was fully expecting a nice little kiss goodnight.  But instead, he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and jumped into a cab!  WHA???  
Immediately texting started:
HIM: "Damn, you're sexy."  
ME: "Um that was a quick goodbye! Thought you might wanna kiss me goodnight, guess not..."
HIM: "oh please, you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you. You have a face I could kiss forever."
So we said we'd meet up again. And he's been texting me sweet things all day. I see some serious potential here.  
And now, back to fling-town!
I walked directly to meet The 'Stache at the same bar by my house.  We had one drink and a hot bar make-out [slightly improved from Monday! or maybe I'm just getting used to it?]  Anyway, it was laaate so we took the party back to my apt once again, for some snuggle slumbering.  BUT WAIT-- apparently it was difficult for him to get back home, back to work on Tuesday am from my apt. So homeboy thought it would be a great idea to wake up at 4am and go home then. And, HE SET HIS ALARM to do so. I shot out of bed and he said "Oh, I didn't want to wake you. I was just going to slip out while you were asleep."  Um, dude- your f'cking alarm sounds like the DOORBELL in a gigantic MANSION. I'm pretty sure dead people were just roused from it.  What the hell is THAT?  It's a new one, for sure.  So, The 'Stache may be getting tossed in the weirdo pile. We'll just have to see.  
For now, I may just focus my energy on SoCal and see where it goes.  I also may try to sleep. My eyeballs are so, so tired.

Off to girl's birthday dinner though!  Guess I'll sleep when I'm dead. Until someone wakes me up with a DOORBELL alarm.  

Lesson:  Double-booking.  Maybe not the best of ideas.  

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Dating story #21, the holiday double-header.

So, I've already been to THREE holiday parties this week.
[it's TUESDAY!]

Party Lindsey is pretty partied out!   Please forgive the lack of BEAUTYFULL-ness this Tuesday.  Perhaps later this week will be more beautiful!  Until then, we can chit-chat about last night.  

I woke up still exhausted from the weekend, but knew it was time to rally.  Game face on, people-- We've got a HOLIDAY DOUBLE-HEADER on our hands! So, I packed my bag o' attire, 'cessories, shoes, make-up [obvi LOTS of concealer!] and headed off to tackle the longest day ever.  
First up, my ad agency's holiday party at a cool space in midtown west.  This is my 5th year there, and I've been to many a party, so I knew I wouldn't be too remorseful when I had to leave halfway through to get to party #2.
The fun part about party #1, is that I was pretty glam-diva'd up in preparation for dressy party #2. Funny story about that-- I was really having a serious debate about what I would wear.  I knew I needed to "shop my closet" for these events, but nothing I owned was really striking me as right for both events.  Then, last Friday I came home from work to a package from Gilt Groupe. Now, this is a pretty common occurance. But this time I really had NO clue what it could be.  I went upstairs and discovered the most AMAZINGLY PERFECT sexy, classy black dress EVER. Slinky, tight but flattering, asymmetrical with one long sleeve and one no sleeve.  And,  I have no recollection of ordering said dress.  But lo and behold, it even fit like a glove.  Thank you, fashion angel, for sending me some love via UPS!  Waiting on better pics, but here's a little sample:  
Sexy, freaky weirdness.
So ad party #1 was in full swing when I get there and drunken inappropriateness abounded.  Think "MAD MEN's" Xmas party, only in current times with new and fun words to learn from the 20-something office boys such as "That gave me a fear boner!" [ew] and "This champagne is already enhancing my sexy, freaky weirdness!"  They are fun to hang out with.  And by "fun" I mean, "fun for a limited time only." And, when some of them started to get handsy, I knew it was time to peace out and hit the class-tastic party uptown.  This was an invite-only event thrown by a big editing facility at the illustrious Mandarin Oriental.  I figured there had to be some fun to be had there and, of course, the possibility of a new and interesting prospect(s) did cross my mind!  So, a few of us swanky-seekers left the advertising slush-fest for a slightly classier [albeit equally slushy!] version further uptown.  As we left, we discovered the temperature had dropped about 100 degrees AND snow flurries were falling.  This was amazing news to me, as I had made the decision, after Al Roker told me the high would be 49 that day, to wear a shorter coat, no stockings and my favorite pair of foot fabuloulessness, my hot pink SATIN Louboutins I so famously scored for FREE from a shoot once upon a time.  I honestly don't know why I even bothered to shave my legs that day. 3 minutes in that ice box outdoors and it 
undoubtedly grew about 12 inches.  Awesomeness!
We walked into what I can only describe as an incredibly elegant ballroom with a panoramic view of the city, as snowflakes softly fell on it.  And, plenty of over-served ad industry people in cocktail attire busting a move on the dance floor to the live band.  Now that's a party, my friends!  And then I spotted my next conquest: The 'Stache.  Of course, he was one of the only guys not in cocktail attire [apparently he didn't get that memo!], but I didn't care.  It's actually kinda better because I got to see what his style was like. And, I likey!  The 'Stache is 6'4", nice build, and yes, some very interesting facial hair that I'm still not completely sure how I feel about, but definitely still attracted to him. I was standing near him and looked over and said "This is the best Bar Mitzvah I've ever been to!" He loved it.  And I was in.  We began chatting and I was getting all the right signals-- eye contact, attentiveness, intermittent touching of my shoulder (the bare one!).  YES.  He stepped away to get some drinks and I turned to my 2 girlfriends nearby to prepare for ridicule. Why ridicule, you ask?  Well, mid-way through my tete a tete with The 'Stache I realized he is basically an edgier, better-looking doppelganger of my recent ex-boyfriend, Champ.  And I knew, undoubtedly, that my friends had realized this as well. I was right.  I said, "well, apparently, I have a "type."  "We know," was their immediate response while they attempted to choke back laughter. But, I'm ok with this.  And The 'Stache and I had a lovely time together until the party ended and they shooed us out of there.  We decided we'd like to have another drink but, seeing as we were in Columbus Circle, we knew we'd need to take the party downtown.  So we ended up at the closest bar possible to my apt.  It was actually an accident, but the one that's farther away was absolutely PACKED with no seating.  On a MONDAY!  NYC never ceases to amaze me.  Even better was having to traipse from the packed bar to the other in my seasonally inappropriate ensemble.  But The 'Stache offered me his arm {swoon} and I managed to make it.  A few glasses of red later, we were well into funny, interesting conversation, peppered with a smattering of him "accidentally" (on purpose) touching my legs from time to time, and me praying the new leg-hair growth had receded.  A kiss was inevitable and I was just waiting for him to make the move.  He finally did  Not the best trip to smoochtown I've ever had, but I think I can work with it. Don't you think kissing gets better the better you get to know someone? Or is this just wishful, kissful thinking?  
Suddenly, I realized it was 2:30am [ouch] and still Monday [ouch], I knew we had to jet. My master plan was to have him walk me around the corner to my door, have a nice (hopefully) little make-out sesh and send him packing.  But alas, how could I send my new facial-haired friend back to Brookland at 2:30am in the midst of a blizzard?  I just didn't have the heart.  Plus, I knew my apt would probably be freezing and it could be quite helpful to have a warm body to slumber with.  But I made the rules very clear from the start and he obliged. [Aren't you proud of me??]  And we had a nice, snuggly little slumber party for the few short hours it lasted until it was time for us to head back to the salt mines.  The 'Stache did make sure to get my digits and even FB friended me today, which means he remembered my last name from the one time I mentioned it.  Perhaps there's some actual potential here!  Or at least enough for another meeting, and maybe, [gasp!] a REAL date! That would possibly be the loveliest birthday present I could receive.  
And, although today was amazingly painful (especially this morning!), I feel quite fortunate to work for an employer that understands and respects the post holiday-party hangover and provides a nice, greasy hangover brunch complete with mimosas [VIM] and an aspirin cocktail on each table.  Gotta love advertising sometimes!  

Lesson:  Always open with a joke, keep an open mind when it comes to the lip-tango, and never, ever listen to Al Roker's forecast when you're rocking 4" satin treasures on your feet.