Dating story #49, From Boulder to Peru.

I'm still reeling from all the comments on my last post!
They were hilarious.
Endearing.
Harsh.
Honest.
TMI [=Too Much Info]
And about 89 more adjectives.
I loved them all!
Yes, even the harsh ones.  Hey, you're entitled to your opinion. And I'm entitled to tell you to F off.
But, I won't. Because you don't go through a marriage, divorce, another break-up, 8 insane months of dating like a mad-woman, and 11 years in the boys club that is the creative ad game and not end up with a Teflon-like epidermis.  
That's right people. I'm pretty tough. I can take it [most of the time. no guarantees if I'm on my menses.]
And, don't worry. This weekend, I got right back on that horse. Or, should I say caballo...?


Recently, I decided I was over Match dating. It was a fun little experiment in the beginning, and lately, I haven't been even looking at it.  I'm just one of those customers they really like that keeps auto-renewing their membership because they're too busy/lazy/forgetful to remember to cancel it. So I keep getting billed for services that I'm not only not using, but that are also ANNOYING me.
My mom would be SO disappointed in me!
Why annoying? I get a few emails or "winks" [ugh, please. I'd rather get "stabs." What guy "winks?" Losers.] a day and they are generally terrible and a waste of my time and inbox space.  Especially when you have a smart phone (or UNsmart phone in my case) and you get pissed off every time something like that makes it vibrate during the work day.
So I finally cancelled my membership.
But those damn marketing geniuses at Match have it figured out.  See, if you cancel before your subscription expires, they start promoting you like CRAZY on the site. Exposing you to more people than ever before. So, instead of getting less emails, I got a MOUNTAIN of them. My phone was buzzing enough to qualify as a battery-operated pleasure device! Ridic.
But, I guess if the quantity is higher, the odds of finding more decent people is too.  So a few not-as-losery prospects began to emerge.  One, in particular, was Peru. He seemed tall, athletic and good-looking in his pics.  And, I liked what he had to say.  So we began emailing and finally got to the point of talking about meeting up.  However Peru, being 40 and not an immature dipshit, thought it would be a good idea to CALL and speak before doing so.  25 year olds, TAKE NOTE!
So we had a quick but easy chat where I discovered he has a very thick accent, but he seemed cool and charming, so we met up Saturday night for drinks at my emerging fave, Casa Mezcal.
It was a hot, sultry, humid night. Perfect for hair and not-sweating. But I walked in and Peru was already at the bar, and, even better-looking than his pics. Phew.  
I know Boulder Boy turned out to be an absolute doucheburger, but shitgoddamn, he was so freakin' handsome. So it's going to be hard for anyone who follows to not pale in comparison. Luckily, Peru is not pale. He's a nice warm caramel with kind eyes to go along with it. And, I proceeded to have a really good time with him. Along with, approximately, 4 cucumber margaritas. ¡Ole!
He was very easy to talk to, and loved that I could speak spanish back to him (before margarita 3.5 that is).  He's your typical romantic, passionate Latin man. Hard-working, loves his family, food, dancing and showered me with compliments.  Apparently blue eyes really do it for Peru! 
And, somehow he even convinced me to go DANCING with him.
Now don't get me wrong, I heart dancing. I grew up taking dance from pretty much the minute I could walk with stability.  But going dancing with a guy I just met is a whole other story. Until, that is, I was talked into drinking possibly the strongest Caipirinha I've ever been given. I'm pretty sure there was lighter fluid in there. But it was effective! So he got me salsa dancing with him and eventually, making out while doing so.  How was it?  My first thought: 

That's right. Something to the effect of Hungry Hungry Hippos. 
I feared for the fate of my face. So, yes, not quite "ideal." But it did improve slightly.  Until Peru decided to fall very quickly in like with me and say things like "Leendsy, I like ju. I want to date ju."
Eek! Slow down, turbo.  But I was pretty drunky drunk at this point and just assumed he was too.  And, I was having some much-needed fun, so I decided to just go with it.  I'm glad I did.  At around 3am we returned to my domicile, both sweaty messes.  Before either of us could proceed I demanded that we both take [separate] showers.  If I wanted sweaty dates, I'd conduct them at Bikram Yoga.  So we got cleaned up and segued into slumber party land.  Like I said, Peru is mucho affectionate and sweet.  It felt nice to just be held and cared about, instead of held and then douched upon.
Even though Sunday was Easter Sunday, I am a) a Jew and b) nothing makes one immune to an impending high-stakes new business pitch, so that meant work on sunday!  But at least not until the afternoon.  So, Peru and I set out to get some brunch before I went back to the salt mines for the day. 
Lately, I've been dreaming about eggs benedict at my favorite teeny, tiny LES spot, Zucco le French Diner. It's been deemed a "French truck stop" and I must say, the food there is EPIC, especially the eggs benny. And when I say this place is small, I'm not kidding.  It's mostly bar seating plus like 3 tiny tables.  You also have no idea whether or not it's going to be open that day. Ah, the French! 
So, Peru and I strolled up and I saw people dining outside. Success!  

Until....hoping to see open seats inside, I poked my head in just past the doorframe and WHAM-O!
Dining at the bar facing the door [I've included a pic so you can see just how close that is to the door/how tiny the resto is], was my scorned, angry ex-bf, Champ.  
"AH!" I exclaimed and JUMPED away from the door. 
"¿Que paso?" asked Peru.
"Umm...we cannot go in there. Ex-boyfriend. Sorry." 
Luckily, he was cool, didn't seem to think I was insane and we walked off.  
But I must say, c'mon, CHAMP!  You a-hole, don't you know the rules of break-up?  
That is MY spot.
In MY neighborhood.
That you wouldn't even know about if not for ME.
Ugggh.  So, thinking fast, we proceeded to 'inoteca.  Part of me feared running into Teca there (of course), but it's been so long and we're cool with each other. Plus, wouldn't be too terrible if I had to see him looking cute with a strapping Peruvian at my side, would it?  Luckily, I didn't have to wonder since he wasn't working that shift.  
Peru and I had a lovely brunch, he's a total gentleman continuously lavishing me in compliments, refusing to let me pay etc.  Yet, I couldn't wait to say good-bye to him and head off to work. Sooo.....yeah. Guess that should be an indicator, huh?  I hate to say it, but I just really don't see my self ending up with one of the foreigns.  They are awesome in so many ways, but when it comes to getting my wacko sense of humor and sarcasm, something just falls short.  It sucks, but at least I know now that's something that really attracts me to someone.  
After working for several hours, I finally got back home to a text from my friend S who also works at 'inoteca.  I met her through Teca last summer and we clicked from the start.  I don't see her often because she's also a vampire, but we still keep in touch and had tentative plans for Sunday night.  So I ended up meeting up with her and friends BACK at 'inoteca, where they had been downing vino since about 4p. It was nice to kick back and just hang out. I need a work/life balance, no matter how exhausted I am!
I learned from S that Teca: no longer works at 'inoteca as of recently AND now lives with Hairy Pits. UGH. I guess love really IS blind. Anyway, they dragged me to Barramundi for more drinks and finally, at about 12:15a I had to go home so I wouldn't be total roadkill at work Monday.  But, get this:
Monday afternoon, I get a text from S:  "Teca literally walked into Barramundi SECONDS after you left last night!" 
Omg. I potentially almost ran into TWO ex's in the same day.  Is Mercury in retrograde or WHAT?  I have to say, I would've actually liked to have run into Teca, would've been nice to see him and catch up. Oh well, probably bound to happen soon. 
This is my life currently. 
Actually, THIS is my life:  
Yesterday, fed up with feeling like I have to bolt if I ever run into Champ, I decided to write him a friendly email.  I basically just said that I've seen him several times and I'm not sure if he's seen me, but I've been hesitant to approach him, unsure of his comfort level and reaction, so I thought, hey- we're both mature adults, right? So I just wanted to reach out and  see if we could be friends yet.
He responded. Let's just say apparently only ONE of us is a mature adult.  The other is a baby man-child with not much interest in being anything besides "cordial/strangers." I'll let you deduce who's who in this scenario.


Dear Universe,
Please send some goodness my way, stat.  And by "goodness," I do not mean the buckets of fried cuisine and contraband Girl Scout cookies you've sent so far.
Thank you,
Lindsey

Dating story #48, Disaster in Denver

woowwww!
Sorry for the epically long teaser, people!  I literally came straight back from my hell-o-rado trip and straight to work. I'm pretty sure I've been here ever since.  Including today, unGood Friday [for me], where most of my agency is off work, but not those of us lucky enough to be on this amazenutz new biz pitch! Weee!  That's a very sarcastic "Weeee!" just fyi.


What the hell happened in Colorado, you'd like to know?


Here we go. As you may recall in a post from Colorado, I said I had "plans pending" with Boulder Boy.  When he asked me what my weekend plans were and I asked if he "wanted to reserve me," he wrote back that he would and asked what the story was.  
We both decided that I would probably be exhausted Friday night from skiing.  So he asked if I was free Saturday night.  I responded that we were doing an early Passover Seder (shh...don't tell God).  I said he was welcome to join us, but I also totally understand if that's not quite in his agenda and, if that was the case, I could meet up later and was free all day Sunday, not leaving 'till Monday.
HIM:  Lemme get back to you on Seder.  How about Sunday for sure?
ME:   Ha, promise you won't get the 3rd degree, but no pressure! Will def be done early if you're going out sat nite, otherwise Sunday for sure.
Then, in a shocking move:
HIM: Seder actually sounds fun. Lemme know details and what I can bring. Is your whole fam there or just your sister?
ME:  Brave! I love it. :) It's my parents, sister and her bf. (Dealbreaker?) Always an amusing time though.  Will get back to you about deets on sat...if the whole fam thing didn't scare you off yet...
HIM: Hilarious. Let's talk Sat. :)


So, that sent me into a total tailspin.  Wasn't expecting that at all!  But, I specifically didn't write it in my post from CO because I just had some feeling about it.  About ALL of it, really.  Like it was too good to be true or something.
SIDEBAR:  When I showed his pic to my sister, she said "Ohh, I don't trust him. He's too pretty."


He and I continued to text sporadically on Friday. He asked me about how skiing was, etc.  Steady stream of comm was happening.  Then, in the afternoon he wrote
HIM:  Hey, sorry for the in and out, but I'm gonna have to skip the Seder tom nite. Friend's bday party that I spaced on.
*I seriously was almost relieved by this-- thoughts of what my family might do to destroy this situation had danced in my head for about 12 hours and this was like the universe confirming that.
ME: No worries at all. Like I said, we'll be done on the early side. Are u going out in Denver or Boulder?  I may need to have some "family separation time" after that.
*My ultimate strategy/goal was to meet him in Boulder sat night and have a lovely slumber party into a lovely Sunday together, preferably in the gorgeous sunshine they were having.
HIM:  Funny, I can only handle about 48 consecutive family hours before I start to snap. :) We'll be out in Boulder, but I think Sunday will be better for me.
ME:  Ugh, I'm seriously looking for the EJECT button right now. Glad I'm not alone. ;) I'm up for whatever, just keep me posted...


I then proceeded to agonize whether my last text could have been misinterpreted.  Did he think I meant "ugh" to him? Like as in "you're not rescuing me?"  Luckily, Jendel and MIM talked me and my Colorado Crazies off the mountain.  I seriously have never, EVER been this bigigitty about a guy! What was going on here?  I think just being in this semi-isolated, 5th wheel in the family situation [plus skiing + passover + my mom] was adding to my overall insanity.  I mean, really. This is NOT me!  A reader even pointed it out in a very tough love comment, and I couldn't argue with a lot of what she said! Who was I becoming?


Saturday night, I could barely sleep. Ridic! I just had this feeling that I wasn't going to hear from him.  "Sunday for sure" or not, I was just anxious and nothing was helping.  Finally around 7am, I got up and starting doing work for this nutballz new biz pitch.  Everyone was already in the office [yes, on a sunday] and sending emails for hours, so I joined in the effort.  I knew it would help me out both occupationally and possibly emotionally.
Around 9am, I got up and went up to the lovely fitness center in my sister's building.  I had a nice long workout and that really helped.  I told myself that I'd hear from Boulder Boy-- why wouldn't I? I mean, he almost came to SEDER for crissake!  
At 11am, we watched the Spurs playoff game.  I also helped them solve the mystery of "who's bass is that coming through the walls of our apartment?" by Nancy Drew'ng myself around all floors of their building until I found it.  I literally did anything I could to keep my mind off wondering when I'd hear from him.
After discussions with Jendel & MIM, we all agreed that if I hadn't heard from Boulder Boy by 2p, then maybe he was waiting to hear from me, since I was on a family vacay after all. And, it would be fine to send a breezy text. So, I did.
ME:  Hey! Still down to hang today?
HIM: Nothing.
as in, NOTHING.
RADIO F'KING SILENCE!!!!!
No response.
No nothing.
And that, my friends, is the story of the most confusing thing a boy has ever done to me. 
Around 5pm, after feeling nauseous for hours, I decided F'k it. I'm calling. What do I even have to lose at this point?  I just want to see if this douche canoe has the stones to even answer the phone.
He didn't.
But, it actually made me feel better.  Okay, just a smidge, but still. That was something. 
I then went for a walk by myself. Bought a pack of cigarettes. Smoked about 6. [UGH.] Called and changed my flight for the first one out in the am. And then called Mon. 
We haven't spoken about the situation, really, at all.  She's not your average gooey, ga ga girlfriend who wants to know all those details. She basically helped put it together and then spaced out.  She also went on a trip to Spain right after that.
But I needed some answers. Did he have a girlfriend?  Am I insane??
She said she had heard that we hung out a few times.  I asked how she knew that-- did Boulder Boy tell Ry (her bf, his bff) that?  She said well, actually Boulder Boy and Ry had hung out the last night he was in town, the night I came to his hotel to meet up with him after his CLIENT DINNER.  I guess he did go to a client dinner, but then went out with the boys which is why (I'm assuming) he tried to cancel/postpone our plans to CO that night, since he wanted guy time.  But since I had no problem coming over later (thinking he was just at a late night client dinner), he did both.  And, apparently, they all ran out of the hotel room minutes before I go there.
Now, does any of this really even mean anything?  No. Not really.  Just that he wasn't completely truthful about that.  And I think it also confirms that he's probably way more of a player than I thought.  Of course, if it LOOKS like a player, and DRESSES like a player, I know, I know... but there was just something different here. 
I KNOW there was. 
I have good intuitions. And I think I'm a pretty good judge of character. 
Where did this go wrong?
All I know is the instant I was in the car headed to the airport to come back to NYC, I felt better.  I just needed to leave it all there.  Return to life. Reality. I guess that was all just fantasy.  But I don't think I'll ever really understand it.  Especially seeing as 
a) We had THREE great almost consecutive nights in NYC
b) He said "See you next week in Colorado?" before leaving.
c) He considered coming to Seder
d) we have mutual friends. I'm not just some random skank he met in a bar.


The good news is, I feel much more like ME again.
The bad news is, this is still kinda nagging at me.  In fact, this am I thought about possibly [POSSIBLY, ok?!] sending him a text over the weekend:
"So...I'm just curious as hell about what happened last Sunday. You can think I'm just another crazy chick if you want, but I just really like honesty. So give it to me. I'm a big girl, I can take it..."


Scenario 1: He won't write back, which puts me pretty much exactly where I am. 
OR
Scenario 2: He will and maybe I can get some understanding and some closure on this.  


Either way, do I really have anything to lose at this point?


Thoughts/suggestions?  Send away, readers!!!


***ADDENDUM!***
CALM DOWN, CHICKADEES. I AM NOT- REPEAT, NOT, PLANNING ON SENDING THAT TEXT.  I REALLY NEVER WAS, IT WAS A FLEETING THOUGHT I BLOGGED ABOUT.  AND, DUE TO A) MY OWN COMMON SENSE [YES, I HAVE A SHRED] AND B) OVERWHELMING READER RESPONSE, I SHAN'T BE TEXTING.  AND, ACCORDING TO MANY OF YOU, I MAY ALSO NEED MAN BOOKS AND SEMINARS BEFORE I EVER DATE AGAIN BECAUSE I CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.


ps- love y'all. xoxo

Coming Soon....

Dating Story #48, Disaster in Denver.


So sorry for the tease.
I'm exhausted.
And, not the happiest camper right now.
Off to bed, story is en route my pretties.


Sweet dreams...

MANdate: Sunny in Colorado.

Helloooo from Coloradoooo!


I arrived late LATE last night after a mere 3 hour delay [thanks a heap, fog]. Luckily, I was on an insanely packed flight sitting in front of a row of children from another country speaking rapidly in another language I can best describe as "CLICK."  Nothing says soothing more than the loudest, fastest and most indiscernible language I've ever heard in my life. Right behind my head. 
Sigh.


But I survived and got to see my sister and her bf's new domicile in Denver. Tres cute!  Crazy to think of my little sister playing house with a guy, but maybe that's because we still refer to each other as "Butthead?"  I digress.  


This morning, the 'rents came over from their hotel and we loaded into the van and made our treck towards skiing.  Have you ever embarked on a skiing trip with your 60+ parents? I do not recommend it.  Although, when not all yelling at one time, there are some insanely hilarious moments. For instance, the fact that my mother hasn't skied in about 15 years and is still rockin' the same copper, fur-hooded ski coat. Want photo evidence?

Hey mom, 1994 called. It wants its ski jacket back. 

But not the pants. BURN THOSE!

Anyway, around 12p-ish I decided it was time to get this dumb text business over with, if for no reason, but to put myself out of this bizarre torture I've been going through for no apparent reason lately.  So, I went with the "hi, I'm here" approach [not the exact words, but you get it] and waited to see how he responded.  I could have put it all in one text that I was here, had free time over the weekend, yadda yadda, but I decided [as many of you have advised!] to put it out there and see what he came back with.  
It worked.  
Boulder Boy wrote back about an hour later that he just landed back in Denver after being in ATL and FLA this week.  Can I really blame him for lack o' contact???  Mr. Jetsetter really does travel like a mofo.
Anyway, we shot the shit [texted the shit?] back and forth a bit, just catching up, and he finally asked me about my weekend plans.  
So I busted out a gem.  
I told him I was skiing today/tomorrow with the fam, but had some free time this weekend if he "wanted to reserve me." 
Why, you ask, is this a gem?  Well, if you'll recall, it's something HE said to me before we met up at our awesome Meatball Shop date.  I had to assume he'd remember and appreciate his work being re-purposed. 
So....what exactly ARE our plans?
Well, let's just say plans are pending.  I'm not ready to quite divulge what/when, but if what I think might happen DOES, indeed, happen?  Well, my friends, this story will get about 20x more interesting!
It could also be the systematic end of the story.  But I don't think so.

Thanks mucho for reading, commenting, and cheering me on in this Denver endeavor.  
Standby for more....

MANdate: Hoping to feel that Rocky Mountain High

Firstly, dear readers, I must say I loved every comment on my last post. 


Your advice was fairly consistent, and I really appreciate you taking the time to dole it out on me.  This is totally unchartered waters for yours truly-- both the long distance thing and the, you know, actually liking someone thing. Wah!


So, I bet you're wondering what's gone on since Boulder Boy left NYC? 


Here's a hint: NOTHING.
In case that was confusing:
Nada.
Nechevo.
Rien. 
AbsolutelyfuckingNOTHING.


Ok, there's been some very [VERY] sporadic textchanges, but I was fine with that.  Just a way to stay in touch, engaged, blah blah.  
Our last contact? Saturday.  
BFWB invited me out of my misery to meet him n' his roomies in the park to play some crazy swedish game [KUBB] and drink mimosas.  Sure, I was planning on de-toxing, but....yeah. This was more important.  
Btw, someone took pics of us and posted them on a blog! Random.

Yes, that would be KUBB.  Highly amusing, difficult and sort of a crap-shoot.  Unless you're BFWB and just happen to RULE at it.  Glad he was on my team. 

Funny enough, random photo-blogger also saw what we saw right next to us:

The fact that these dudes just decided to drag an upright bass, banjo and guitar to Tompkins square park on a saturday is pretty damn rad to me.  And I felt the need to share.  Since Boulder Boy is a music lover/aficionado, I decided "Screw it."  So I sent him this pic (well ok, the one I took!) 

ME:  An upright bass and banjo in the park on a saturday? Pretty amazing. 

HIM:  Wow that is awesome!  Where ya at?

ME:  Tompkins square park, playing a weird swedish game on a gorg day.  Whachoo doin?

HIM: Lounging on my porch, getting some sun.  Went to the farmer's market this morning. Typical Boulder saturday. :)

ME:  Sounds like heaven! :) Things to get: 1) toilet paper  2) porch.

HIM: :)

UM- Smiley face?? Granted it was within a minute of my text, but STILL!  I was like Okaaay, smiley face.  Nothin' says "conversation OVER" like a smiley face.

Right???

So, I decided that he's probably chilling out and maybe not that into texting right now, and better to let him have the last one anyway and then see when/if he writes back next. 

I'M. STILL. WAITING!!!!!!!!

I mean, really?? FOUR days sans comm?  As I launched into a category 5 freak-out, my bestie Jendel talked me off a ledge. She's a great source because she was also in a long-distance relationship {that has since brought her to--sniffle--LA to be with the boy}, but she had a lot of good wisdom to bestow.  She didn't seem to think it was a big deal at all to not hear back and reassured me that he's probably just waiting to hear from me once I get there.  

So, I've sufficiently convinced myself this is the case and am looking forward to his response to my not-at-all-pre-planned text upon arrival.  And surprisingly, I feel so much less anxious and just more excited about the prospect of this happening.  I'm feeling very Zen right now.  It's either that or I am just finally totally, completely DELUSIONAL.  I'm going to go with option A. 

And, that's all I have to report, lovely ladies [AND, gents, as I've come to discover!].  Anyway, I've more than appreciated your positive thoughts, great advice, demands for me to blog more and all-around rooting for me on this one.  In the time you've been reading my word vomit, have you ever known me to get this bigiggity over a guy???

This has to mean something. 

Hell, I've even been looking into the ASTROLOGY of this whole thing. Which, by the way, is REALLY good.  

Sagittarius and Aquarius seem to be quite the the match in MANY departments.

Oh hell.  I can't wait to get there and send this text!  And...guess whose flight is 2 HOURS delayed??

Not the best sign.  Luckily, my Zen-ness is keeping me calm.  I'm like freakin' Buddha, in the bowels of New Jersey right now.

Stay tuned, my pretties!!!  

Dating story #47, An Import. Figures.

Well, I should really do a teaser post more often! Loved all the comments and, without further ado, here's what has happened.


Backstory:


BFWB and I were at a Lucinda Williams concert at Webster Hall about a month ago and, thanks to the wonders of Facebook, ended up meeting up with my good friend, Mon and her bf, Ry. They haven't been dating for long, but I've met him a few times and think he's really awesome. Tall, good-looking in a Luke Wilson type of way. Loves music, is a lawyer, and seems to really have his shit together and also really like her.  So much so, I've nicely told Mon several times to please not f*k this up. Hee hee!
So as Ry and I were playin' around during the concert, I looked up at him and said:
ME: "Dude. Don't you have any friends?  What's the deal!"
HIM: "Funny you should say that.  I was actually just thinking you'd be great for my best friend."
ME: "Go on."
HIM: "Well, he's good-looking (I think), 6'4, and JEWISH...
ME: "WHAT??"
HIM: "...and, he lives in Boulder, CO."
ME: "Of course he does.  Interesting, though, since my sister just moved to Denver..."
Anyway, I basically put it out there that I'm not scared of that and would be open to it, but didn't get the feeling that Ry was going to make anything happen. Plus, he's not on FB so it wasn't like I could go stalking through his pics and figure it out (not that I knew this guy's name anyway).  So, I never thought about it again.
Cut to last week:
Mon was throwing a bday party on Saturday night that I had been planning to go to.  Then, SoCal popped up with the last-minute ticket score to LCD Soundsystem's last show of all time, also on Saturday night.  I figured she wouldn't care since it was a big party plus, she's a huge music fan, so I knew she'd understand.  Imagine my surprise when I im'd her that news and she wrote back "NOOO! The BOY is gonna be in town this weekend!!" 
Oh shit.
Think fast.
Probably can't make it before the show-- too early.  Can't come after the show unless I can ditch SoCal, and that's kind of weird. Especially if we're having fun. 
Friday night???  
[and ps-- what if this guy SUCKS?]
But I couldn't think about that, plus wanted to see her over the weekend since I'd be missing the party.  And luckily they all had plans to go out to a friend's party in Brookland Friday night. 
I had about 4 other plans in the line-up that night too, PLUS, an inferno of vomit going on at work [which is very rare for me].  But, I said I'd make it work.
Friday am I dressed for Friday pm.  Seriously- left the house wearing stockings, a sexy dress and boots at 8am.  Whatever. F*k it! Did a TJ Maxx vo job, went through hell at work until 8p. RAN out the door to meet the girls for margs at Casa Mezcal to celebrate one of my favoritest people, Tons, finally getting engaged to a long-time friend/bandmate/brother of mine.  Couldn't be happier! In fact, I was SO happy to be there and not at work, I downed at least 4 cucumber margs. Aye!  And then took off to Brookland.  Tipsy, exhausted, but hopeful.
Walked into the bar and immediately saw Mon so we went to the bar.  I asked her where Boulder Boy was and she pointed over to the table they were sitting at. 
ummmm....HELLO HOT. I was like, "Oh, it's ON."
He was talking to some blonde chick at the table, and we walked over there, I was introduced and I don't remember talking to anyone else for the rest of the night.  He was sexy, sweet and Jewish--- I mean, REALLY??  I'm still pretty sure he is a unicorn or figment of my tortured imagination [or my mother's]. 
It just felt so EASY.  And I felt like he was into it too.  After a short while he moved to sit next to me, we shared beer...it was just easy!
Ok, here's the ONLY bad thing [location aside] I have found about him: He smokes.  Not a ton, but also not just socially when drinking, like a lot of my friends [and sometimes moi. no judging!].  But not a deal-breaker. And, turns out, very helpful to me on TWO occasions in this story.
Occasion #1:
I went out with him to have a smoke later on after being jealous that other people had gone out with him earlier.  We were outside talking and smoking and, I don't remember how it even happened, but he leaned in to kiss me.

KABOOM!

HOLY FREAKING 4TH OF JULY FIREWORKS!!!


Seriously, you know how often I complain about bad kissers.  
This wasn't just a good kiss. This was the ULTIMATE kiss.  Really like nothing I've ever felt.  It actually took me by surprise. I was sooo not expecting that.  Aaaand....we made out, in front of the bar, for at least 8 minutes.  The next day, I didn't even think Mon knew that we had kissed but, apparently, she and Ry had watched the whole thing, quite amused that we hadn't even bothered to move away to a more secluded area. Awesome.
Lemme tell you, I did not care one bit.
We all then left the bar and the four of us headed back to Mon's for a late night jam session.  That's right, people, homeboy is also into MUSIC and can PLAY the guitar like a champ (and even sing a little).  I was in heaven, although secretly wishing to get Boulder Boy alone for another smooch fest. I knew he was going back to Queens [yes, Queens] to stay with Ry, and at around 3am they called cars for us. I tried to find a way to get him alone or to walk me out so we could a) smooch goodbye and b) exchange numbers.  But that didn't happen.  Instead, both cars came at the same time, we had a slightly awky goodbye (although he did give me a quick kiss in front of my car) and went our separate ways.  
I woke up saturday am and could think about nothing else. What WAS that kiss? Who IS this guy?  Did he feel the SAME way about it? And, more importantly, how do I see him again?
STRATEGY TIME!
First, realized Mon was going to Spain on Sunday and if Boulder Boy and I didn't somehow exchange digits Saturday night, he'd never be able to find me since Ry doesn't have my number and isn't on FB. HAD to happen at the party!
Had to be up by SoCal at 8p.
Mon's party started at 7p and was, amazingly, LITERALLY across the street from my apt. [Fate?]
I knew Boulder Boy was going to be in town through Wednesday for work and moving to a hotel in the city after the weekend, so he'd be accessible.  
The Plan:  Get to the party long enough for one beer and hope the boys were there early and could do the digit exchange before busting out to the concert.  Which, at this point, I could give two shits about going to. [SoCal who???]
Mon ended up coming to my apt before the party since she was early and didn't want to be there alone.  [Great. Boys not with her.] 
SHIT.
Her hanging out in my apt also delayed my getting ready process.
DOUBLE SHIT.
She left and I got there at 7:30.  Boys still not there, I had to leave in 10 mins.
TRIPLE. FREAKING. SHIT!
I was literally on the verge of walking out when, lo and behold, they walked in. I was a flustered, blubbering mess.  This guy seriously affects me like none other.  As in "there goes all my cool, right out the window."   So we're chatting for a sec and I've announced I have to leave.  I'm chanting in my head "ask for my #, ask for my #."  But it's just not natural at that moment and I have to keep thinking fast. AHA!
Occasion #2:
I pretend to want to smoke and ask if he can spare one. Of course, he says yes and wants to join me. YES!
So we chat outside of the bar, I'm still a blubbering idiot.  Talking about how I'm still feeling crappy from last night, about how Mon/Ry totally watched us, blah blah.  Now, I REALLY had to leave as SoCal had been texting asking my ETA.
SHIT ON A STICK!
So I say I have to jet but maybe we'll meet up later. Then he says:
"Well, we should exchange numbers."
PRAISE JESUS, KRISHNA, BUDDHA AND WHOEVER ELSE!!!!!!!!
Filled with relief, we do the digit trade, I give him a quick peck on the lips [eek! bold!] and run to a taxi in total disbelief that my plan ACTUALLY WORKED.
In the cab, I text him to get the ball rolling, saying thanks for the smoke [aka "Thanks for the cancer!"] and sorry for being so special bus right now.
He said I was on it and not to worry.  {Swoon}  


SoCal + Concert
We actually had a really good time together at the show, although I saw that SoCal has a pretty nasty temper as seen when he almost got thrown out of Madison Square Garden for being short/rude with the usher.  Luckily, he ate crow pretty quickly and I did the rest of the damage control [ie eyelash-batting] to keep him there.  Moron.
Overall, he's just kind of a weird dude.  And, I was seriously considering ditching him after the show citing that I had to work Sunday, which was actually/horribly true.  LCD played for FOUR hours and I saw that Boulder Boy had actually texted asking how the show was. Wee!  But, it was already so late plus we ended up meeting up with bestie Rayza and her hubs, getting street meat and eating it at SoCal's after.  By that point, I figured I'd not chase after a boy at post-1a and set something up for the next day.  Plus I figured it would make me look cooler if I didn't meet up anyway.
So, I told him I was going to pass out [he didn't need to know WHERE I was doing so], but was he around Sunday night?  
Him: "I am...Wanna reserve me?"
A.DORBS!
I told him yes, please and asked if he required a deposit.  
Then I woke up to SoCal's dog licking my ass in the morning. Not even exaggerating. Now, I live for dogs, but not at 7a with their tongues on my wobbly bits. He, however, has no control over said dog. Interesting, huh?
Luckily, the other cheek was safe as I had to race outta there to get to work! 
Worked all day, through the night but managed to make plans to meet up with Boulder Boy at my fave, Meatball Shop. I didn't make it till 9:45. He didn't make it till 10!  I had no idea how it would go, but it was like the perfect date.  I felt the warmth and chemistry the whole time and he is awesome to talk to.  He actually asks me QUESTIONS and seems to care about and remember my responses.  Plus, I could literally stare at him, I think he's so freaking handsome.  
I invited him back to my, conveniently-located, apt for a night cap [aka makeout sesh part deux].  All I can say is....nothing. I'm speechless.  I've seriously never had anyone kiss me like that.  AND, you should all be very proud of me. We had a lovely slumber party and totally behaved ourselves.  It was maybe the hardest thing I've ever done!  But I know I need to wait with this one.  If for anything, to keep him wanting more.  But having someone that tall spoon you all night is maybe the best thing ever invented.  In fact, I named it something new:
The Ladle.
And the next morning, when I usually feel like the minute you get out of bed, the "spell is broken" with the guy? Nope. Not this time.  Just as affectionate and normal as the night before.  We even shared a cab uptown and snuggled up the whole way there.  Once again, is this guy real?  I mean if he lived in NYC he would be CHASED after and TACKLED.  And, does he really like me????
I met up with him again super late-night at his amazing hotel suite after his client dinner Tuesday night. We slept in Weds am, and had lunch and coffee outside. I think I am addicted.  And, guess what?
It just so happens I am going to Denver next week to meet my family out there to ski and celebrate Passover.  Again, fate? 
So as we kissed goodbye, he said "See you in Colorado next week?"
I am sooo hoping that happens.
I am really worried now that he's left NYC it's going to all go away.  I'm hoping he keeps the communication up in this next week.  He travels constantly and will be traveling more in the next week, so who knows if that will help or hurt my cause.  We've exchanged a few texts since yesterday, but I'm really starting to freak out about it. I almost didn't want to blog about it because I'm afraid to jinx it!
I know, I know. "What is for me will not pass me by."
But GOD. I really think this is for me. 
I know it's very soon, but something feels different here. I just hope he feels it too.
As for now, I'm going to back off the communication and hope that causes him to reach out.
So, readers:
1) if you made it to the end, thank you!
2) any advice?
3) Say a prayer/send the universe good energy for me here.  For the first time in YEARS, something finally feels right. 
OH SHIT.
I'm so SMIT!

MANdate: THE ULTIMATE TEASE.

Cray cray weekend.

Slammed at work.

Will blog soon, BUT....

i.

am.

SMITTEN!!!

Sorry that's all you get for now.  Stay tuned for the story....

[AHHHHHHHH!!!!!]

BeautyFull Friday: Get lubed up, Ladies!

I really REALLY feel like writing one of those banal lines here like:
"We finally made it to Friday!"
But, I'll refrain.  Oh, wait...


Anyway, as I said in a previous BeautyFull post, I often get compliments on my subtle but so fresh n' so clean clean scent from the menfolk.  Hence, I shared this fragrance with y'all.
The other top question/compliment I get from the mens, especially in the summer is about the softness of my skin.  It just goes to show how tactile, and really, primal men are, because I am always amused by how borderline astounded they can sometimes be at how soft our skin is.  Well, DUH, dudes. YOUR skin is generally covered with hair, scales and the occasional back-ne [that we love to play dermatologist on!], so no wonder ours feels like silk in comparison!  But for realsies, I have a secret to my skin softness success and I'm sharing it with YOU today:

Johnson's Baby Oil Gel

in Cocoa Butter

Shocked and amazed that it's not some super 'spency, fancy-schmancy product?  Huzzah! No, it could not be more accessible, found in most drugstores, usually in the baby section and generally for about $4 dolla' dolla' billz! That alone is worth you at least TRYING it out, heh?

I seriously used to spend what felt like decades in the bathroom, post-shower.  From all the balms and serums and creams I have to spackle my face with PLUS putting lotion all over my body, I actually considered putting a television in my 2x4 bathroom at one point.  Then, this little miracle came into my life and considerably cut down on my my post-pamper routine.

Here's how it works:

-When you're done showering, turn the water off. [duh]

-Stay in the shower and, WHILE STILL WET, slather the baby oil gel all over your fine self.

-Get out of the shower and BLOT yourself all over with your towel.  

The product actually claims to "lock in up to 10 times more moisture on wet skin that ordinary lotion can on dry skin."

IT'S ACTUALLY NOT EVEN A LIE!

(And believe me, as an ad writer, I lie for a living!) 

-No, you will not feel oily and gross afterwards.

-Yes, it is PERFECT for summer too since you've been soaking up those rays.

-Hellz yes it's the greatest thing for bare legs when going out, since legs retain that lovely, sexy sheen without any stripper-glitter being involved.

Find in drugstores or online {here}. 

What's new in ManLand?

Well, last night at a co-worker's going away party, I ended up hanging with the mid-20's chew toy boys, per usual.  What- I can't help it if they're hilariously entertaining!  Anyway, in speaking with one [as he slurred back at me], he informed me that I was one of the few girls at the office with "Hot Girl Status."  I was blown away!  My office is huge and full of some hot, young tail.  

But don't get too excited for me, as very soon after that he also informed me that he is "Extremely skilled at sex."  And he was NOT. EVEN. KIDDING.  

Charming.

And, this is why I do not spent excessive amounts of time with these boys outside of work.

He did apologize [publicly, on FB] today for his comments.  

Ah, 25 year old verbal vomit is really the BESTEST!

Other than that, not much going on, just gearing up for my SoCal date double-header, beginning Saturday.  Cannot even imagine how this is all going to play out.  Oooh the suspense is palpable!

Also, a special shout-out to the adorable reader who emailed me yesterday to ask my fashion consultation for her upcoming concert date!  I LOVE that you did that.  I am ALWAYS here for those situations, so please, ask away chickadees! 

Happy F'ing Friday....Friday....Friday [DAMN YOU, REBECCA BLACK!]

xo