Or at least it did on Tuesday.
Funny, just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you fall through the creepy trap door and hit the concrete basement floor.
*OUCH*
In re-telling my day to my favorite editor dude his exact words were "You need to blog this."
Ok, here goes.
Tuesday was my 3rd day of complete speechlessness due to laryngitis. It was also my 3rd day of that horrendous juice cleanse. All things were beginning to take their toll.
Monday night I had been writing to my ex-hubs sister since I saw her post on FB. Their amazing grandma has not been doing well and was going downhill fast. I woke up to a long email from her that made me really sad.
Luckily, I have my pilates session on Tuesday mornings. Although I hate mornings [and working out] I am REALLY loving pilates on the reformer. It's a great way to start the day plus has really helped with many of my body creaks and tweaks.
Luckily also I got there a little early since my ex-hubs called me at 7:45a. I didn't know what to do with the no talking and almost pilates time, but I knew I had to answer. Of course he told me the news that she had passed away, and of course we're both crying on the phone. In my gym locker room. At 8a. Neat-o.
A busy day at work then ensued and entailed dealing with the head HEAD honcho of my agency and trying to solve some copy problems very quickly. Super easy when your only means of communicating is writing and/or miming (aka gesticulating wildly.)
Finally escaped only to have BFWB drag me to band practice where I obvs couldn't sing [or talk to anyone]. All I could do is play the tambourine and the keys which I have only recently started to do in the band. Guess what that did? Made me realize just how much I SUCK at playing the keys. I am currently trying to fire myself. So far, it's not working.
Left practice feeling pretty low, which is usually the exact opposite of how I feel. Got home and lazily began to look at Twitter, something I rarely do. Now, I haven't mentioned much/anything about my {former} relationship with E-Blue, which will be his name moving forward. I will continue not to say much out of respect, but along with him came a whole group of friends, including his brother and amazing friend Bizy whom I was lucky enough to know prior to meeting him. However, Bizy and I have become extremely close girlfriends in the last 6 months, so thus- I am still connected to E-Blue and the whole group.
While many people have encouraged breaking those ties as well, I see no reason why I have to suffer ALL those losses right now, especially when this wasn't really my decision. It's like he wins that way. Besides, we all know breaking up with a girlfriend can often times be WAY worse than breaking up with a guy. So, Bizy stays!
Anyway, one thing I love about this friend group is that they are AA [see glossary if confused], successful, and FUN. Just plain freakin' fun. They do activities, make plans and even do FMN, Funny Movie Night. How cute?
So, through Biz I knew they were doing a FMN that night which, of course, made me sad but whatever. However, when I was randomly looking at Twitter I just happened to see a tweet from E-Blue about it and that it was the Muppets.
Cue: Lindsey bursting into tears.
Why do the Muppets evoke such emotion, you ask?
A) the Muppets have long been a part of my history
B) a whole group of us went to see it in the theater together when we were dating and it was an extremely memorable night. E-Blue and I have also quoted the movie quite frequently ever since.
I'm sure he didn't think twice about that tweet and would never intentionally hurt me, but I just found it so insensitive. I'm sure the not speaking or eating food for 3 days may have had a hand in my emotions as well at that point?
After I had a good cry, I yelled [in my head, silently] "RECOVER!" to myself and went to put some music on.
Since Bizy and our other friend Chi-chi were coming to my place for din the next night, I wanted to tidy up a bit. So I reached down to pick up some trash from my kitchen floor. And found myself touching a....
DEAD. BABY. MOUSE.
Waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
You can bet some audible sounds came out of my mouth then. I also proceeded to do some sort of "Elaine" dance as I convinced myself I had to Man up and get rid of that sucker.
I put on sunglasses, so as to see it less (great rationale, right?) and finally scooped it into a bag and ran out the door to the hallway garbage, freaking out along the way.
As I opened the door to my garbage room, for the first time in 3 years, I found that some neighbordouchecanoe had so thoughtfully shoved FLOOR TO CEILING boxes into that tiny room, making access to the garbage shoot impossible.
Are.
You.
F*KING.
KIDDING.
ME???????
I literally looked up to the sky and thought that. Finally I found a way around them and threw the vile creature down to its burial ground.
I promptly took a Xanax and ended this day that I imagined Saddam Hussein and Bin Laden had contrived somewhere from the bowels of Hell.
So let's recap, shall we?
-7:45a, ex-hubs notifies me of Grandma passing
-Can't communicate at work
-Endless harassment from boss about said lack of comm
-No singing at band practice
-I suck at piano
-No food in 3 days
-Read tweet about Muppets movie.
-Sob
-Touch dead baby mouse
-Have to sweep up dead baby mouse
-Troubles disposing of dead baby mouse.
And, SCENE.
Thank you for listening.
To end on a lighter note, about 3 weeks ago, before all this stuff hit the fan, I took an epic trip to Nicaragua and my next post will be about that, so stay tuned!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Dating story #71: From Flingtown, USA to Heartbreak Hotel.
Well, everyone. I'm back.
And, sadly, not with good news.
Alas, my 6 month relationship has ended. Actually, it ended about 2 weeks ago and I haven't been able to write...or really do much ever since.
If you can't tell, I'm pretty sad. I really thought there was something there and, although he did too, looks like the timing is just not in our favor. So, here we go with yet another of life's *delightful* setbacks:
heartbreak
I know I've been married and in another serious relationship. And it was extremely hard when both ended. However, both times were my choice. This time? Well, I don't want to say I got "dumped." But he was the one struggling. And if something isn't working for one person, it's not working for anyone.
He is definitely "in flux" at this time-- unsure of career moves and also life moves/relocating. My POV is that you can make anything work as long as you're in it together. But apparently, I'm completely effing wrong. One thing that has helped immensely is a book a co-worker randomly suggested I read a few weeks ago, prior to the breakup even happening.
And--brace yourselves--it's written by Steve Harvey.
Yes, I too think it odd that I've been running around proclaiming a relationship book written by a black, male comedian to be up there with the Bible in terms of advice, lessons and truth, but there it is.
The first chapter alone [ps skip the prologue and go right to chapter one] had my eyes bugging out of my head and my head nodding, while trying to keep eyes in.
With real advice such as: "[If a man] hasn't lined up the who he is, the what he does, and hte how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can't possibly be to you what he wants to be. Which means that you can't really have the man you want. He can't sit around talking with you, or dream about marriage and family, if his mind is on how to make money, how to get a better position, how to be the kind of man he needs to be for you."
Want a little more? Here's the kicker:
"In my experience, these facts don't always sit well with most women. Many of you figure that if a man truly loves you, the two of you should be able to pursue your dreams together. {Yes! Get out of my head, Steve!!} Stability is important to you, but you'd rather build the foundation of your relationship together, no matter the man's station in life. This is honorable, but really, it's not the way men work. His eye will be on the prize, and that prize may not necessarily be you if he isn't up to where he wants to be in life. It's impossible for us to focus on the two-- we're just not that gifted, sorry."
Are you guys looking at this like- WHOA?
He goes on to say they don't necessarily have to be completely established or at the end of their road, so long as they are on the track to achieving their goals and they feel secure in their position. You can find this simple bit o' genius {here}.
In hindsight, this makes so much f'ing sense I feel stupid. It's pretty much (in most ways) the reason NONE of my relationships have worked out thus far. Hmm. Maybe someone needs to adjust their picker, huh Lindsey?
Also feeling particularly horribleterrible right now due to total laryngitis which has meant 3 days of not talking. On the upside, I think I may be qualified to enter the convent soon. This also comes with the unfortunate timing of me starting the BluePrint Juice Cleanse on Sunday--it was a gift from someone. I figured I've never been less interested in eating so why not do this now? GREAT idea, Lindsey.
-No voice.
-No food.
-No dude.
Somebody, hide the razors and STAT!
So, seeing as I'm a) back and b) a heartbreak virgin, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. What's helped you get through? And more importantly, do you know any tall and STABLE men in this city that you'd like to set me up with?
{just kidding}
{sort of}
xo
And, sadly, not with good news.
Alas, my 6 month relationship has ended. Actually, it ended about 2 weeks ago and I haven't been able to write...or really do much ever since.
If you can't tell, I'm pretty sad. I really thought there was something there and, although he did too, looks like the timing is just not in our favor. So, here we go with yet another of life's *delightful* setbacks:
I know I've been married and in another serious relationship. And it was extremely hard when both ended. However, both times were my choice. This time? Well, I don't want to say I got "dumped." But he was the one struggling. And if something isn't working for one person, it's not working for anyone.
He is definitely "in flux" at this time-- unsure of career moves and also life moves/relocating. My POV is that you can make anything work as long as you're in it together. But apparently, I'm completely effing wrong. One thing that has helped immensely is a book a co-worker randomly suggested I read a few weeks ago, prior to the breakup even happening.
And--brace yourselves--it's written by Steve Harvey.
The first chapter alone [ps skip the prologue and go right to chapter one] had my eyes bugging out of my head and my head nodding, while trying to keep eyes in.
With real advice such as: "[If a man] hasn't lined up the who he is, the what he does, and hte how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can't possibly be to you what he wants to be. Which means that you can't really have the man you want. He can't sit around talking with you, or dream about marriage and family, if his mind is on how to make money, how to get a better position, how to be the kind of man he needs to be for you."
Want a little more? Here's the kicker:
"In my experience, these facts don't always sit well with most women. Many of you figure that if a man truly loves you, the two of you should be able to pursue your dreams together. {Yes! Get out of my head, Steve!!} Stability is important to you, but you'd rather build the foundation of your relationship together, no matter the man's station in life. This is honorable, but really, it's not the way men work. His eye will be on the prize, and that prize may not necessarily be you if he isn't up to where he wants to be in life. It's impossible for us to focus on the two-- we're just not that gifted, sorry."
Are you guys looking at this like- WHOA?
He goes on to say they don't necessarily have to be completely established or at the end of their road, so long as they are on the track to achieving their goals and they feel secure in their position. You can find this simple bit o' genius {here}.
In hindsight, this makes so much f'ing sense I feel stupid. It's pretty much (in most ways) the reason NONE of my relationships have worked out thus far. Hmm. Maybe someone needs to adjust their picker, huh Lindsey?
Also feeling particularly horribleterrible right now due to total laryngitis which has meant 3 days of not talking. On the upside, I think I may be qualified to enter the convent soon. This also comes with the unfortunate timing of me starting the BluePrint Juice Cleanse on Sunday--it was a gift from someone. I figured I've never been less interested in eating so why not do this now? GREAT idea, Lindsey.
-No voice.
-No food.
-No dude.
Somebody, hide the razors and STAT!
So, seeing as I'm a) back and b) a heartbreak virgin, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. What's helped you get through? And more importantly, do you know any tall and STABLE men in this city that you'd like to set me up with?
{just kidding}
{sort of}
xo
Monday, January 9, 2012
Hellooo, blogosphere!
Here I am.
Lindsey.
Yeah, I'm still alive AND my fingers can still type!
But how rude of me-- how have all of YOU been?
I apologize for my absence, but my life has changed just a little bit lately.
And yes, some of you have noted that some previous blog posts are now MIA. 'Tis true. I removed them. I had a momentary internet/privacy freak out spazz moment and undid them. Which is really too bad since they were pretty good and had pics! But alas, it was the right thing to do.
So, as many of you clever Nancy Drews may have already deduced--
I'm. Dating. Someone.
Wow. That even just looks weird, right?
But yeah, that's what seems to be happening.
It's been a slow progression but I'm pretty smitten.
And, as many funny stories I've had about this one along the way, I just feel that writing about him is a violation. Hell, I'd be mortified if he found this chronicle of my insanity at all, but at least he can't judge for things I did before I knew he existed, agreed? But finding me writing about him would surely be a deal-breaker and not one I'm willing to risk.
However, this all begs the question:
Now what?!
I don't really see the need to "shut down" this blog. And, I've really enjoyed telling my ridiculous stories and hearing your feedback and commentary. So, why stop?
I'm not gonna!
I plan on continuing, but it will probably be more of my:
-random musings
-love of shopping
-any/all beauty products
PLUS, I'd really love this to evolve into some sort of dating forum.
You know, you write me (anonymously if you like) any questions or even just rants about the idiocy of men and the pain that is dating them, and I will respond within the blog.
How fun does that sound??!
I'm on board if y'all are. So, holla at a sista, would ya?
{missed you}
xoxo
Lindsey.
Yeah, I'm still alive AND my fingers can still type!
But how rude of me-- how have all of YOU been?
I apologize for my absence, but my life has changed just a little bit lately.
And yes, some of you have noted that some previous blog posts are now MIA. 'Tis true. I removed them. I had a momentary internet/privacy freak out spazz moment and undid them. Which is really too bad since they were pretty good and had pics! But alas, it was the right thing to do.
So, as many of you clever Nancy Drews may have already deduced--
I'm. Dating. Someone.
Wow. That even just looks weird, right?
But yeah, that's what seems to be happening.
It's been a slow progression but I'm pretty smitten.
And, as many funny stories I've had about this one along the way, I just feel that writing about him is a violation. Hell, I'd be mortified if he found this chronicle of my insanity at all, but at least he can't judge for things I did before I knew he existed, agreed? But finding me writing about him would surely be a deal-breaker and not one I'm willing to risk.
However, this all begs the question:
Now what?!
I don't really see the need to "shut down" this blog. And, I've really enjoyed telling my ridiculous stories and hearing your feedback and commentary. So, why stop?
I'm not gonna!
I plan on continuing, but it will probably be more of my:
-random musings
-love of shopping
-any/all beauty products
PLUS, I'd really love this to evolve into some sort of dating forum.
You know, you write me (anonymously if you like) any questions or even just rants about the idiocy of men and the pain that is dating them, and I will respond within the blog.
How fun does that sound??!
I'm on board if y'all are. So, holla at a sista, would ya?
{missed you}
xoxo
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Dating story #70, It's not always sunny in SoCal.
Oooh people!
Have I got a story for YOU.
After blogging yesterday and seeing some of the excitement that fostered, I began to worry that SoCal may have even forgotten about our drink plans. But, I also forgot that my office is an iPhone nuclear zone and I ended up getting a text from him 40 mins after he sent it. How RUDE, iPhone!
He asked if we could meet a little later than 8p or even Thursday night. Thursday wasn't an option for me, so I agreed to meet at 9pm last night. Which ended up being good since my trainer rocked me and made me a giant sweaty mess, which meant straight home to start the whole process over.
While I was home, gettin my pretty on my phone rang. This cutie I met awhile back from North Carolina was calling to see how I was doing. NC is so adorable- 6'4, JEWISH, and smart. I thought he was 26 which is still too young but I was kind of bored at the time and loved the fact that he was so mature in the way he pursued me to go on a date with him before he left town. At the date, he turned out to be 24! In my head all I could think is "I am almost a DECADE older than you. Neato." But we had a really lovely date and I tried to ignore the age thing. What does it matter, anyway? He doesn't live here. But so sweet of him to call.
I hung up with him in a happy mood, still GREATLY anticipating what my night with SoCal would have in store.
At 8:40p, text from SoCal:
SoCal: Hey, would you kill me if I postponed? If not, I'll rally. I've just turned into an old geezer lately. :(
ME: What! I just dried my hair AND put on make up!!!!
SoCal: Ok, leaving here in 10.
Sorry, but I was not about to let homeboy off the hook, esp with a full face of makeup and freshly blown-out hairz!
Since I had to completely start over and it was now weds night, I decided to put on one of my "shazam" skirts. It just fits so perfectly, showing off the goods and hiding the bads. As SoCal and I walked down the stairs to Pravda, he made sure to tell me how good the skirt looked.
My thoughts: "Ooh! He's flirting. Sleazebag! Here we go...."
So we went to sit down and he even made a comment about putting our chairs closer together.
Hmmmm....
I apologized for not giving him a pass for tonight and he apologized for even asking. He said his life has just been "Crazy and stressful" lately but he's really glad I got him out and that it was good to see me.
Of course I had to comment on the "crazy and stressful" part and he said "Let's wait until we get our drinks and I'll fill you in."
I'm wondering if he's really causing this much build up around having a stupid GF? But I really couldn't wait to hear more about FakeBoobs McCougar, if he was actually going to go there.
So, I filled the time until our drinks came [which, btw, was INORDINATELY long for some reason!] with funny stories and minor updates on me.
Finally, those damn drinks came.
We toasted each other, took a sip. And then he dropped the bomb:
HIM: So, I'm going to be a father.
ME: [Sound effects of choking on my Moscow Mule]
HIM: Yep, I'm having a kid.
ME: Holy sh*tballz mo*ther#@%!!!!
Well, this certainly sheds light on the FB official with FB McC!
Talk about a curveball.
I was SO not expecting that!
Poor, poor SoCal.
I mean, duuuumb DUMB SoCal. Seriously?? Wrap that shit up, dude! And also, FB McC-- how are you 41 and not on the pill?
Shame on you both. But enough of that. What's done is done.
And this thing is DONE.
He is trying to make it work. They've moved in together. It all feels like a giant shit tornado and I think he is already regretting the co-habitation. I really do feel for him.
He's young.
Good-looking.
Smart.
Successful.
I can see how this has really sucked the wind out of him. I just hope he can find a way to make it work so he can still have the life he wants for himself.
Hey, this post is also an excellent reminder about birth control! See- I also aim to educate while retelling the ridiculous tales that are my life.
Guess that officially closes the dating chapter on SoCal. Not that it wasn't unofficially closed already.
As for me, I have my big client cocktail holiday party tonight. I am wearing a hot, red dress...which also happens to be guy I like's most fave color on the planet.
Secretly hoping we will meet up afterwords. But as of now, this is just a pipe dream.
Send out some good vibes for me, would y'all? I'd be super grateful. 'Tis the season, after all. Right?
Love ya. Mean it.
Have I got a story for YOU.
After blogging yesterday and seeing some of the excitement that fostered, I began to worry that SoCal may have even forgotten about our drink plans. But, I also forgot that my office is an iPhone nuclear zone and I ended up getting a text from him 40 mins after he sent it. How RUDE, iPhone!
He asked if we could meet a little later than 8p or even Thursday night. Thursday wasn't an option for me, so I agreed to meet at 9pm last night. Which ended up being good since my trainer rocked me and made me a giant sweaty mess, which meant straight home to start the whole process over.
While I was home, gettin my pretty on my phone rang. This cutie I met awhile back from North Carolina was calling to see how I was doing. NC is so adorable- 6'4, JEWISH, and smart. I thought he was 26 which is still too young but I was kind of bored at the time and loved the fact that he was so mature in the way he pursued me to go on a date with him before he left town. At the date, he turned out to be 24! In my head all I could think is "I am almost a DECADE older than you. Neato." But we had a really lovely date and I tried to ignore the age thing. What does it matter, anyway? He doesn't live here. But so sweet of him to call.
I hung up with him in a happy mood, still GREATLY anticipating what my night with SoCal would have in store.
At 8:40p, text from SoCal:
SoCal: Hey, would you kill me if I postponed? If not, I'll rally. I've just turned into an old geezer lately. :(
ME: What! I just dried my hair AND put on make up!!!!
SoCal: Ok, leaving here in 10.
Sorry, but I was not about to let homeboy off the hook, esp with a full face of makeup and freshly blown-out hairz!
Since I had to completely start over and it was now weds night, I decided to put on one of my "shazam" skirts. It just fits so perfectly, showing off the goods and hiding the bads. As SoCal and I walked down the stairs to Pravda, he made sure to tell me how good the skirt looked.
My thoughts: "Ooh! He's flirting. Sleazebag! Here we go...."
So we went to sit down and he even made a comment about putting our chairs closer together.
Hmmmm....
I apologized for not giving him a pass for tonight and he apologized for even asking. He said his life has just been "Crazy and stressful" lately but he's really glad I got him out and that it was good to see me.
Of course I had to comment on the "crazy and stressful" part and he said "Let's wait until we get our drinks and I'll fill you in."
I'm wondering if he's really causing this much build up around having a stupid GF? But I really couldn't wait to hear more about FakeBoobs McCougar, if he was actually going to go there.
So, I filled the time until our drinks came [which, btw, was INORDINATELY long for some reason!] with funny stories and minor updates on me.
Finally, those damn drinks came.
We toasted each other, took a sip. And then he dropped the bomb:
HIM: So, I'm going to be a father.
ME: [Sound effects of choking on my Moscow Mule]
HIM: Yep, I'm having a kid.
ME: Holy sh*tballz mo*ther#@%!!!!
Well, this certainly sheds light on the FB official with FB McC!
Talk about a curveball.
I was SO not expecting that!
Poor, poor SoCal.
I mean, duuuumb DUMB SoCal. Seriously?? Wrap that shit up, dude! And also, FB McC-- how are you 41 and not on the pill?
Shame on you both. But enough of that. What's done is done.
And this thing is DONE.
He is trying to make it work. They've moved in together. It all feels like a giant shit tornado and I think he is already regretting the co-habitation. I really do feel for him.
He's young.
Good-looking.
Smart.
Successful.
I can see how this has really sucked the wind out of him. I just hope he can find a way to make it work so he can still have the life he wants for himself.
Hey, this post is also an excellent reminder about birth control! See- I also aim to educate while retelling the ridiculous tales that are my life.
Guess that officially closes the dating chapter on SoCal. Not that it wasn't unofficially closed already.
As for me, I have my big client cocktail holiday party tonight. I am wearing a hot, red dress...which also happens to be guy I like's most fave color on the planet.
Secretly hoping we will meet up afterwords. But as of now, this is just a pipe dream.
Send out some good vibes for me, would y'all? I'd be super grateful. 'Tis the season, after all. Right?
Love ya. Mean it.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Dating story #69, No, I'm not dead.
"Lindsey, did you lose the password to your own blog?"
No.
Here's the low dizzown from LindseyTown.
In the past few months, I haven't written because I've been
busy
traveling
overwhelmed.
I'm still those things right now, however I DO have a little time to write. I'm just in a bit of a conundrum.
I actually LIKE someone.
I've been "seeing" this person for almost 2 months now, and I feel like blogging about it is going to "jinx" it or something.
I know, I know. That's stupid right?
Keep your opinions to yourself!
No, sorry. I have no idea if it's stupid or not. But this isn't your normal, run-of-the-mill dating situation. [why would it be? It is ME we're talking about, after all]. Also, this guy is incredibly tech-savvy and lord knows if he's already found this blog or not. It's pretty well hidden but that means nothing to the internet hacker genius eggheads of the world.
It's a mostly abnormal dating sitch because I thought this, like many others, was just going to be a fun, flirty visit to Flingtown, USA. Apparently, so did he, since on the second time we hung out--the first being a wild night of open bars wherein he got blackout drunk, was thrown in a cab home by some moronical guy friends and proceeded to lose his iPhone. Yeah-- so that second time I made some joke about us having to get along since we have a mutual friend (which isn't, btw, the way we met ironically!) and he immediately said:
HIM: "Whoa, well I'm going to business school in a year so I'm not looking for anything serious."
ME: "Whoa whoa whoa- you don't know anything about me. So, umm...chill out. Can we just have fun?"
But of course, his words have haunted me ever since the relationship started to evolve. And also, so fucking what if you're going to B-school in a year?
When one goes off to B-school, do they also DIE and/or cease to exist anymore?
I chose to ignore that and focus more on his actions, which have been inconsistently consistent.
Yeah. I'm scared. I'm freaking a little. I haven't really liked anyone in so long.
But I know exactly what to do here: nada.
It's really an excellent practice in being patient, playing it cool, and doing all the things I've tried and been horribly unsuccessful at since I've been writing this blog.
So, everyone send some good ju ju out to the universe for me and hopefully I'll have some happy stories to tell.
Or, some really awful ones.
Either way, you guys WIN!
And, as a reward, here's another interesting story!
We all remember SoCal, right? [Duh].
Hard to believe I met him almost a year ago and have been sporadically seeing him since. The last I saw him was at my beach house over the summer. We had a super fun day and that was pretty much it. Which, was really fine by me. After all, I've contemplated moving him into the friend zone several times.
Anyho, just before Halloween I reached out to him since I had some concert tix I couldn't use and, since he's my concert dude, I thought maybe he'd want them. Turns out he couldn't go, but said we should meet up for a drink soon. So, even though I had started seeing the aforementioned guy [who I have not given a blog name to, did you notice?], I figured I could use a distraction. Plus I was still keen on making the friend zone transition and thought maybe that could happen on this occasion. However, after him being at soccer practice he texted me that he was exhausted and on the couch watching tv. He asked whether I wanted to come over there and just chill with him or reschedule. I was also exhausted from 3 hours of band rehearsal and also wanted to avoid his apartment and any potential situations there, so we decided to raincheck it.
Cut to Thanksgiving.
I'm home in Texas.
Bored.
Lonely.
DYING to receive comm from guy I like and, upon not getting any, became a rabid social media stalker. [Oy.]
So I happened to come across some pics SoCal posted on FB and I went to his page to see more. Lo and behold, what did I find there???
"SoCal is in a relationship with FakeBoobs McCougar!"
[Do you like my name for her? I do!]
um...secondly, WHAT!
a) He has a GF?
b) FB OFFICIAL?!
I was dying over this. Not because I, in any way, shape or form, wish to be the person in the relationship with him. But mostly because I just didn't think that would happen. Anytime soon, or ever.
Now, FakeBoobs McCougar has appeared in some FB activity for quite awhile. Mostly starting in the Spring. And, she even popped up in a text message when he was out at the beach with me over the summer. (Not stalking, his iPhone just popped up with the text and I was sitting next to it.)
So, I worked on wrapping my head around that which proved to be an interesting distraction from my yearning for comm from you-know-who.
Anyway, by the time I got back to NYC sunday I started becoming desperate since I have yet ANOTHER set of concert tix I couldn't use since I will be in VEGAS visiting MIM that weekend!
After several failed attempts to sell on Craigslist and to other concert loving friends, I decided it was time to contact SoCal. Plus I figured, hey! He can take his FB Official GF to it!
Upon texting him to see if he wanted the tix, he responded:
HIM: "I don't know them. Are they any good? Let's meet for drinks this week and you can fill me in."
Whoa.
I was not expecting that!
Color me unbelievably intrigued.
Does he want to sit me down and officially tell me about his GF (even thought FB already told me that)?
Does he just want to catch up?
Will he try to make a move on me, like a total sleazeball?
Oh the possibilities!!!
So obvi, I'm going. And, it's TONIGHT.
If curiosity killed the cat, I must be some kind of mountain lion 'cause I am soo curious about this I cannot wait!
Does this make me a sad, sad person?
Who. The. Hell. Cares.
Please note, I have no desire to be anything more than friends with him at this point, especially considering what's currently going on in my life. But you can bet your sweet bippy's that I'm not gonna bring up the GF thing first!
Alas, dear readers, (if there are, in fact, ANY of you still out there!) we will have to wait until tomorrow to see what this is about.
Sorry for the radio silence.
Thanks for missing me.
I missed you too.
xoxo
Despite several attempts to sell these on craigslist
No.
Here's the low dizzown from LindseyTown.
In the past few months, I haven't written because I've been
busy
traveling
overwhelmed.
I'm still those things right now, however I DO have a little time to write. I'm just in a bit of a conundrum.
I actually LIKE someone.
I've been "seeing" this person for almost 2 months now, and I feel like blogging about it is going to "jinx" it or something.
I know, I know. That's stupid right?
Keep your opinions to yourself!
No, sorry. I have no idea if it's stupid or not. But this isn't your normal, run-of-the-mill dating situation. [why would it be? It is ME we're talking about, after all]. Also, this guy is incredibly tech-savvy and lord knows if he's already found this blog or not. It's pretty well hidden but that means nothing to the internet hacker genius eggheads of the world.
It's a mostly abnormal dating sitch because I thought this, like many others, was just going to be a fun, flirty visit to Flingtown, USA. Apparently, so did he, since on the second time we hung out--the first being a wild night of open bars wherein he got blackout drunk, was thrown in a cab home by some moronical guy friends and proceeded to lose his iPhone. Yeah-- so that second time I made some joke about us having to get along since we have a mutual friend (which isn't, btw, the way we met ironically!) and he immediately said:
HIM: "Whoa, well I'm going to business school in a year so I'm not looking for anything serious."
ME: "Whoa whoa whoa- you don't know anything about me. So, umm...chill out. Can we just have fun?"
But of course, his words have haunted me ever since the relationship started to evolve. And also, so fucking what if you're going to B-school in a year?
When one goes off to B-school, do they also DIE and/or cease to exist anymore?
I chose to ignore that and focus more on his actions, which have been inconsistently consistent.
Yeah. I'm scared. I'm freaking a little. I haven't really liked anyone in so long.
But I know exactly what to do here: nada.
It's really an excellent practice in being patient, playing it cool, and doing all the things I've tried and been horribly unsuccessful at since I've been writing this blog.
So, everyone send some good ju ju out to the universe for me and hopefully I'll have some happy stories to tell.
Or, some really awful ones.
Either way, you guys WIN!
And, as a reward, here's another interesting story!
We all remember SoCal, right? [Duh].
Hard to believe I met him almost a year ago and have been sporadically seeing him since. The last I saw him was at my beach house over the summer. We had a super fun day and that was pretty much it. Which, was really fine by me. After all, I've contemplated moving him into the friend zone several times.
Anyho, just before Halloween I reached out to him since I had some concert tix I couldn't use and, since he's my concert dude, I thought maybe he'd want them. Turns out he couldn't go, but said we should meet up for a drink soon. So, even though I had started seeing the aforementioned guy [who I have not given a blog name to, did you notice?], I figured I could use a distraction. Plus I was still keen on making the friend zone transition and thought maybe that could happen on this occasion. However, after him being at soccer practice he texted me that he was exhausted and on the couch watching tv. He asked whether I wanted to come over there and just chill with him or reschedule. I was also exhausted from 3 hours of band rehearsal and also wanted to avoid his apartment and any potential situations there, so we decided to raincheck it.
Cut to Thanksgiving.
I'm home in Texas.
Bored.
Lonely.
DYING to receive comm from guy I like and, upon not getting any, became a rabid social media stalker. [Oy.]
So I happened to come across some pics SoCal posted on FB and I went to his page to see more. Lo and behold, what did I find there???
"SoCal is in a relationship with FakeBoobs McCougar!"
[Do you like my name for her? I do!]
um...secondly, WHAT!
a) He has a GF?
b) FB OFFICIAL?!
I was dying over this. Not because I, in any way, shape or form, wish to be the person in the relationship with him. But mostly because I just didn't think that would happen. Anytime soon, or ever.
Now, FakeBoobs McCougar has appeared in some FB activity for quite awhile. Mostly starting in the Spring. And, she even popped up in a text message when he was out at the beach with me over the summer. (Not stalking, his iPhone just popped up with the text and I was sitting next to it.)
So, I worked on wrapping my head around that which proved to be an interesting distraction from my yearning for comm from you-know-who.
Anyway, by the time I got back to NYC sunday I started becoming desperate since I have yet ANOTHER set of concert tix I couldn't use since I will be in VEGAS visiting MIM that weekend!
After several failed attempts to sell on Craigslist and to other concert loving friends, I decided it was time to contact SoCal. Plus I figured, hey! He can take his FB Official GF to it!
Upon texting him to see if he wanted the tix, he responded:
HIM: "I don't know them. Are they any good? Let's meet for drinks this week and you can fill me in."
Whoa.
I was not expecting that!
Color me unbelievably intrigued.
Does he want to sit me down and officially tell me about his GF (even thought FB already told me that)?
Does he just want to catch up?
Will he try to make a move on me, like a total sleazeball?
Oh the possibilities!!!
So obvi, I'm going. And, it's TONIGHT.
If curiosity killed the cat, I must be some kind of mountain lion 'cause I am soo curious about this I cannot wait!
Does this make me a sad, sad person?
Who. The. Hell. Cares.
Please note, I have no desire to be anything more than friends with him at this point, especially considering what's currently going on in my life. But you can bet your sweet bippy's that I'm not gonna bring up the GF thing first!
Alas, dear readers, (if there are, in fact, ANY of you still out there!) we will have to wait until tomorrow to see what this is about.
Sorry for the radio silence.
Thanks for missing me.
I missed you too.
xoxo
Despite several attempts to sell these on craigslist
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Dating story #68, Serial Dating: The Lindsey Story
Hey beautiful ghouls!
Hope y'all had a spooktacular Halloween! Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE Halloween? I love dressing up. Getting to see what life feels like in something out of the ordinary. And I couldn't wait for this year, since I had decided to fulfill a life-long dream.
That's right.
Wonder Woman.
I've been obsessed ever since my sister, BH, and I were kids in our Underoos. Ps- look at her adorably chubbo legs! And my nose scab!
Plus, for years the IT guys have taken to calling me "Wonda' Woman" (not exactly sure why-- boots maybe?). So I decided it was finally time to reveal my alter-ego to the masses, at mega fun Halloween party last Thursday. Here's some pics!
Hope y'all had a spooktacular Halloween! Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE Halloween? I love dressing up. Getting to see what life feels like in something out of the ordinary. And I couldn't wait for this year, since I had decided to fulfill a life-long dream.
Wonder Woman.
I've been obsessed ever since my sister, BH, and I were kids in our Underoos. Ps- look at her adorably chubbo legs! And my nose scab!
Plus, for years the IT guys have taken to calling me "Wonda' Woman" (not exactly sure why-- boots maybe?). So I decided it was finally time to reveal my alter-ego to the masses, at mega fun Halloween party last Thursday. Here's some pics!
 |
| I found my counterpart! |
 |
| with one of my "bro" friends |
 |
| Check the boots, y'all! |
It was a supa' fun night fo sho, but nothing can really compare to what's been going on lately. So, instead of going into long-ass sagas, like I know you all LOVE, I'm going to give you the bullet-point catch up!
Remember him? Hot, fun summer fling out in Fire Island? Yep, that's the one.
We would exchange occasional texts and I wrote to him when the "HURRICANE OF THE CENTURY" was threatening to slam into Long Beach, NY where I know he lives. So, being the nice girl I am, I checked in to make sure all was ok. He had just had major knee surgery and was recuperating from it and seemed very appreciative of my check-in, reciprocating with inquires about how I was doing, etc. A nice little text-change, if you will. And that was that till about a month later, he wrote me out of the blue:
HIM: "hey, what's up. Sorry I haven't called but I've been recovering from knee surgery. Also as you might have imagined, my availability is a little different on the mainland than it is on FI. Hope all is well tho. Didn't mean to be rude."
[Cut to me wondering why the hell he was apologizing for not calling??]
ME: "No worries, I've been super busy. How's the knee?"
[back and forth chit chat about the knee. So I decided to invite him to this cool jazz open bar party at the Top Of the Standard, since he's a fellow music lover.]
HIM: "Hey, it sounds like a blast but I have a girl in my real, non-Fire Island life. Figured u should prob know that. Hence the statement "my availability is a little different on the mainland." That may change ur mind about the invite.
[WHAAAT! Omg. Who would have EVER figured that out from those words?!]
HIM: Oh also, if you could, hit me up during work hours.
I'm sorry, by "work hours" did he mean "scumbag hours?" And, can someone please explain to me how this dipshit thinks he can justify what he did simply because he has a separate "Fire Island" life and "mainland" life???!!
Seriously, it just never stops being entertaining does it?
Next!
Scot
Clearly, I did NOT invite Girl's Name to that party at the Standard and figured it may be a good opp to meet some ad industry hotties.
No dice.
So as I started out the giant windows at some of the most breathtaking views of NYC, absently sipping my free Goose n' soda, my eyes settled on something across the bar. Something so hot, I wasn't certain it was actually real yet.
Thick, wavy dark hair.
Amazingly handsome, stubbly face.
Ruggedly chic clothing.
And, once he stood up-- TALL. Freaking TALL.
I literally had to rub my eyes to make sure I was, in fact, seeing this. And then, he and his friend got up and walked toward the back. I watched for a sec and then thought, "Well, I OBVIOUSLY need to go look at the view from over there!" So I got up and walked over, but alas, no sightings of him.
One of the weirdos at the party asked if I had checked out the view from the roof and, since I had not, I went up with them out of sheer boredom. We walked out to the roof and BEHOLD! There he was, taking goofy pics with his
friend.
I went right in, harassing them on their poses and this worked me perfectly into their conversation. I then discovered this tall, dark and HELL-O you're HOT guy was also Scottish.
What's with the Green Card Special lately?
And can we also discuss how the accent just made him more HOT, if that's even possible?
So, I sat down and talked with Scot on the roof for at least an hour. During that time, we came to find out we WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE BUILDING.
Hold. The. Phone.
There is NO way this dude could work in my building within my agency, and I'd never seen him. There's no humanly possible way I could MISS him! So we exchanged numbers with grand plans of meeting up for lunch, etc the following week.
The bar then shooed everyone out as they do at 10p every night so we left. Downstairs, he implied he needed to hang with his friend as he was in town from Paris. I was sad to leave since we were having so much fun, but I understood plus I was starving and needed to eat, so we said goodbye.
10 whole minutes later, Scot texted me "Hey let me know if you want to hang out after you eat a bite."
Umm...why did we just leave each other?!
I decided not to question it.
I told him to meet me at Mother's Ruin in 30 mins. And, he did.
We had a blast, he was great to talk to and after a little bit he even asked me, in his charmingly adorable accent, "Can I kiss you?" Ummm...yes please NOW!
Yum!
I was loving it all. But of course, it was nearing 1a on a weeknight and I decided to be responsible [for a change] and go home. He was leaving town the next day for the weekend but we talked about meeting up the following week.
And then?
Nothing.
Radio Silence.
NOTHING!!!!
I even asked my security guard at work (who I love to death!) what the deal was. If this guy was like a dragon or the Tooth Fairy or some shit, but apparently he really DOES work in the building.
Eventually, I let it go. Until last week. When he texted me.
One month later.
At 1:41am.
Really, dude? No, like REALLY really?
What did it say, you ask?
"Whassup stranger?"
Oh you wanna know whassup, Scot? I'd LOVE to tell you, but I promised my mother I'd stop using that kind of language.
MORON!
Next!
Roc may be one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Ever.
Genuinely caring. Smart. Successful. Incredibly hard working in finance and technology.
Good dresser. Smells great. Always asks about ME, how I'm doing, recalling funny stories about my bosses.
We dated consistently for almost 6 weeks.
He never let me pay.
We talked or texted at least once every day.
It was perfect.
On paper.
In reality, as my ever-wise security guard said, "Dude just don't make yo water boil, huh?"
Nope. He sure didn't.
But it seemed so awful to have to end it. Luckily, he was going on a 2 week trip to Russia and Prague so I'd have a little break to mull it over, see if I missed him and stuff.
Of course, I got distracted by life, other guys, NYC! I barely thought of him.
And, crazy enough, he must've felt the same way.
Haven't heard from him since he left!
It feels strange but at the same time, we avoided an annoying and awky convo. So...cool!
Next!
[to be continued....!]
Monday, October 31, 2011
Hell On Nails.
Happy Halloween, gorgeous ghouls!
Ah, how I've missed you!
So sorry for the MIA'ness. I just haven't had time to write. Yet I have been accumulating some SERIOUSLY awesome stories for you to feast your hungry eyes upon!
I'm currently working on serving them up in a steaming cauldron for you, so until then, ch-ch-checcck this out!
What will undoubtedly be the hottest nail trend of the winter:
the Manicure Le Smoking by YSL.
An elegant, reinterpretation, of the French Manicure. Two deep black shades, one matte and one shiny. aka Tuxedo Nails.
Two words: Me. OW!
Get out there and be vicious, my vixens!
Back soon....
Ah, how I've missed you!
So sorry for the MIA'ness. I just haven't had time to write. Yet I have been accumulating some SERIOUSLY awesome stories for you to feast your hungry eyes upon!
I'm currently working on serving them up in a steaming cauldron for you, so until then, ch-ch-checcck this out!
What will undoubtedly be the hottest nail trend of the winter:
the Manicure Le Smoking by YSL.
An elegant, reinterpretation, of the French Manicure. Two deep black shades, one matte and one shiny. aka Tuxedo Nails.
Two words: Me. OW!
Get out there and be vicious, my vixens!
Back soon....
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