Thursday, December 1, 2011

Dating story #70, It's not always sunny in SoCal.

Oooh people!

Have I got a story for YOU.

After blogging yesterday and seeing some of the excitement that fostered, I began to worry that SoCal may have even forgotten about our drink plans.  But, I also forgot that my office is an iPhone nuclear zone and I ended up getting a text from him 40 mins after he sent it. How RUDE, iPhone!
He asked if we could meet a little later than 8p or even Thursday night. Thursday wasn't an option for me, so I agreed to meet at 9pm last night.  Which ended up being good since my trainer rocked me and made me a giant sweaty mess, which meant straight home to start the whole process over. 
While I was home, gettin my pretty on my phone rang. This cutie I met awhile back from North Carolina was calling to see how I was doing.  NC is so adorable- 6'4, JEWISH, and smart.  I thought he was 26 which is still too young but I was kind of bored at the time and loved the fact that he was so mature in the way he pursued me to go on a date with him before he left town.  At the date, he turned out to be 24! In my head all I could think is "I am almost a DECADE older than you. Neato." But we had a really lovely date and I tried to ignore the age thing.  What does it matter, anyway? He doesn't live here.  But so sweet of him to call. 
I hung up with him in a happy mood, still GREATLY anticipating what my night with SoCal would have in store.
At 8:40p, text from SoCal:
SoCal: Hey, would you kill me if I postponed? If not, I'll rally. I've just turned into an old geezer lately. :(
ME:  What! I just dried my hair AND put on make up!!!!
SoCal: Ok, leaving here in 10.

Sorry, but I was not about to let homeboy off the hook, esp with a full face of makeup and freshly blown-out hairz! 

Since I had to completely start over and it was now weds night, I decided to put on one of my "shazam" skirts.  It just fits so perfectly, showing off the goods and hiding the bads.  As SoCal and I walked down the stairs to Pravda, he made sure to tell me how good the skirt looked.  
My thoughts:  "Ooh! He's flirting. Sleazebag! Here we go...."
So we went to sit down and he even made a comment about putting our chairs closer together.  
I apologized for not giving him a pass for tonight and he apologized for even asking. He said his life has just been "Crazy and stressful" lately but he's really glad I got him out and that it was good to see me.
Of course I had to comment on the "crazy and stressful" part and he said "Let's wait until we get our drinks and I'll fill you in."
I'm wondering if he's really causing this much build up around having a stupid GF?  But I really couldn't wait to hear more about FakeBoobs McCougar, if he was actually going to go there.
So, I filled the time until our drinks came [which, btw, was INORDINATELY long for some reason!] with funny stories and minor updates on me. 
Finally, those damn drinks came.
We toasted each other, took a sip. And then he dropped the bomb:
HIM:  So, I'm going to be a father.
ME: [Sound effects of choking on my Moscow Mule]
HIM: Yep, I'm having a kid.
ME: Holy sh*tballz mo*ther#@%!!!!

Well, this certainly sheds light on the FB official with FB McC
Talk about a curveball.
I was SO not expecting that!

Poor, poor SoCal.
I mean, duuuumb DUMB SoCal.  Seriously?? Wrap that shit up, dude!  And also, FB McC-- how are you 41 and not on the pill?
Shame on you both. But enough of that. What's done is done. 
And this thing is DONE.

He is trying to make it work. They've moved in together. It all feels like a giant shit tornado and I think he is already regretting the co-habitation.  I really do feel for him.  
He's young.
I can see how this has really sucked the wind out of him.  I just hope he can find a way to make it work so he can still have the life he wants for himself. 

Hey, this post is also an excellent reminder about birth control! See- I also aim to educate while retelling the ridiculous tales that are my life.

Guess that officially closes the dating chapter on SoCal. Not that it wasn't unofficially closed already. 

As for me, I have my big client cocktail holiday party tonight.  I am wearing a hot, red dress...which also happens to be guy I like's most fave color on the planet.
Secretly hoping we will meet up afterwords.  But as of now, this is just a pipe dream.
Send out some good vibes for me, would y'all? I'd be super grateful.  'Tis the season, after all. Right?

Love ya. Mean it.


  1. W-O-W. Other than that...speechless...

  2. There are so many things I could say, but I'll be satisfied with, "Karma's a bitch!"

  3. Whaaaaaat???? OH my gosh. Now here's the thing. I get that he's being noble, but if he's not in love with Ms. McCougar, he's not doing himself, her, or the baby any favors. Yowza.

  4. OMG!! was not expecting that!!
    boys...when will they learn?

  5. Amen, Emily! I tried to express that as well. Then today, I casually sent him the name of 2 therapists. Even though he didn't ask. Hee hee!

  6. Oh Lindsey,

    This just made my day! My co-workers were staring at me as I gleefully giggled at my computer screen.

  7. SO CAL YOU DIP SHIT!!! man! so cal was kind of my favorite? because he was like, stupid? but was always around? so cal we expected so much more from you. why did he feel the need to tell you in person? wait, can you call each and every one of us and give us the low down? that'd be perfect.

    also, i texted my girlfriend immediately and was like, dude! did you read about so cal yet?!?! we love your blog. xoxo

  8. Lindz... so glad you are back! And I'm loving that you've found a new interest. Don't you just hate being patient?! I know I do. It's good to hear that I'm not the only girl (who has recently discovered that despite every attempt to NOT be, is, in fact, a control freak) who dates boys with odd dating behavior.

  9. @Law Rhen- you made my friggin' day. Well actually it was night-- last night. But I was bombed when I read it and then when I read it again this morning it made my day all over again. Hi-larz! xx

  10. ohhh I knew this would be good!!!! and the whole moving in together?! recipe for disaster if you ask me!

  11. hahahaha WHAT. girl, you make my freaking LIFE every time you blog. you're so damned funny.

  12. WHOA. Dying here. I'm not a regular commenter but I'm definitely a regular reader.
    Couple of thoughts.....first, either FBMC is on the pill but irresponsible with taking it, or totally not caring because she's 41 and wants to be a mom. I know that sounds harsh, and I don't believe everyone who's 41 or older feels that way, but, sadly, I've heard girls say they want a baby so badly they're about to that point. I don't get it but....whatev.
    Secondly, were they living together yet when he asked if you wanted to come hang out with him on his couch?? So confused about that part.
    And last, love your point you made about letting "you know who" think it's all his idea to make the relationship legit. I've never thought of it that way, but that is EXACTLY what guys need. The second they think the chick wants it, they're out, but if they come up with it first? All about it. Good luck with the patience, so much easier said than done.

  13. Ok, my darling Lindz, just catching up to the latest - no major judgment here but I wouldn't go browbeating women over 40 (ahem!) for whatever birth control they are or aren't on (though some of us ARE). They made that bed, & obvi - for better or worse - procreated up in there & now gotta share it & lie down together. I pray for the child & hope they are both grown-ass people & take care of him or her. In finale, good luck to SoCal, the dude has been a first-class flake to you from the get, you're being a decent friend to him, I'm sure in spite of all his flakiness, he could use one right now. xxxD

  14. What happened to Dating story #71 and 72? They have mysteriously disappeared!