Friday, February 4, 2011

Dating story #39, Just when you think it's over...


I have notta lotta time, so this is gonna be quick n' dirty.  Don't judge.  Actually, I assume you don't judge because if you DID, you probably wouldn't read my brain drivel.  Or, maybe you read it because you enjoy judging it ["Did you SEE what that tramp is doing NOW??"], and that's okay too. Whatever keeps you entertained!

So, we know where I left off with SoCal.  Not the best of places, but still somewhat optimistic, seeing as there is just so much potential, but thus far, such poor execution.  It's kind of like when your team [ahem- JETS] is really good and soo close, but they just keep f'ing up and then they miss out on the Superbowl. Grrr! Aggravating x 1000.  
After SoCal so nicely invited me over to his place at 8:45a on a Saturday for a whole 1.5 hour window [I declined that invite], I hadn't heard from him again and decided to just back off and see what happened.  Sure enough, Tues am I got a txt asking if I like Les Savy Fav (a band). Indeed, I do. And YES!  All along, I'm thinking "helloooo dumbnutz, you know we both love live music.  Whyyy are we not seeing any shows together??!"  So I texted back that I like them a lot and then immediately googled to see if they were playing in NYC soon. Turns out, they're playing at my fave venue, Bowery Ballroom Feb 16th.  Was this why he was asking???  I'd have to wait awhile to find out since he didn't reply to my response for HOURS.  Finally I wrote "was that a test or something?" He wrote back "Yes and you passed. They're playing Bowery 2.16, come with me. Already got your ticket."  
Well, shitgoddamn! [that's Texan for "whoa!"]
Asking me out. 
On a date.
TWO weeks in advance.
And bought me tix.
Okay, things are looking up.  We proceeded to text back and forth, talking about how we're both going on vacay next week.  I mentioned that I "hope I'd remember what he looks like by the time 2/16 rolls around," seeing as because of missed connections, I hadn't seen him since the first week of January!  So he said we should definitely hang out before then.
On my walk home from the gym he asked what I was up to and that ended up in an invite to come over and watch a movie.  I decided since the night was a) cold b) boring and c) about to ice storm, going over there would be a fun thing. So, I did. And, it WAS.  We had a really good time, good chemistry, although kind of a strange slumber party.  He woke up at like 5:30a and left the bed for like an HOUR.  Kinda bizarre, but he said he couldn't sleep.  Who knows.  
However, he DID make me a delicious omelette, bacon and coffee the next morning for brekkie.  Um...wakey wakey, eggs and bac-y? YES, please. FACT:  They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  I think I  might be a dude...
Suffice it to say, I still think he's probably seeing other girl/girls-- I saw a confusing pink razor in the shower but what can I do?  Not like I'm not doing the same thing, although that was kinda strange.  At some point, we'll need to have a discussion about all of this, but not yet.  And, at the advice of bestie KK, I need to do a much better job of playing hard-to-get. That's really hard, because I am clearly very EASY to get. At least if you are good-looking and not a total dumb-dumb. Shit.  
MIM is right- they DO always come back. Especially if YOU go away...

Ah, the Chef.  I think he'll be around until I tell him not to be. I'm just not sure when that needs to happen.  The other night I mistakenly texted him cause I was still up at 2am, fresh in from a bar on a school night, and he asked me what I was doing.  I told him that I was making some sort of pizza "concoction" out of assorted refrigerator items in my new toaster oven.  [When I say "items," I might mean "pickles."]  He asked if I required professional help, but I told him it was too late. Damage done.  He then asked if I wanted company.  I said he had a 15 minute window until I passed out, plus an early morning, but he was welcome to come over.  That seems, to me, about as un-enticing as SoCal's little morning time block, but the Chef seemed to think it was a great idea.  And I literally passed out ON him, on the couch.  The next morning, we had to get up early because my crazy cleaning lady insisted on coming at 8am [she's bossy], and so he had to split.  Early wake-ups do NOT go over well for Vampire Chefs.  So, we've had about 3 different occasions of him coming over to literally JUST sleep.  He's kind of like an actual slumber party friend.  And, it's getting weird for me. Mostly, because I just don't even care.  He is sweet and cute and very fun to hang out with.  But I'm starting to feel like a big sister or something.  EW. 
I'm supposed to swing by his resto tonight for a drink, so we'll have to deal with all this post-vacation.

The Streak. {i can't find his icon right now! sorry}
Many moons ago (like 3-4 weeks), The Streak had told me he had 4 tix to Chromeo on 2/4 [yes, today] and asked if I wanted to be one of the lucky recipients.  Chromeo is maaajor fun times and it seemed like a fabulous invite.  Cut to today.  Never heard any confirmation, logistical information, nada.  I started getting antsy about it yesterday, cause I'm a planner. That's just what I DO. So I asked our mutual friend, S-Bomb, if this was normal behavior.  She said he is definitely not a flake with invites but he is a total "late confirmer" so to just be patient.  She also said it would be fine if I wanted to send him a "we still on for tom nite" note, but I vehemently refused. It's time to make these guys work harder. 
So today, as I was venting (i-venting over i-chat) my frustrations to The-bro, The Streak popped up on my ichat. Ah! Relief! But no...he was just saying what's up. Sending me funny links. The norm.  I started to go slowly INSANE. It literally took every fiber of my being to not ask about tonight.  Then I started to realize that, because he's freelancing and not been working all week [and partying every night], I bet he has no freakin' idea what day it even is.  So I ask him if he's got any big weekend plans. He said other than taking advantage of 18 year old girls, nothing much. A brunch. Some work.  Finally, I did the least I could do and asked if he was going out tonight or if too hungover. That triggered it for amnesia-man.
"I KNEW i was supposed to remember something! Ahhhhhh! Do you still want to go??"
Okay, so I feel better.  He didn't forget about ME, he forgot about EVERYTHING.
And this is the smart guy.  Someone please give me toothpicks to begin poking myself with.  I don't know how much more of this dating bull-poo I can handle. Like, SERIOUSLY.

In other news, just when I thought I was finally safe:
-Almost Doc called me as I was writing this post. [IGNORE!] Ahhh. Please, MAKE. IT. STOP.
-Abe The Jew sent me a very lovely email that I won't share with you because 
HE READS THIS BLOG!  Not. Awky. At. All. 
Abe, you are clearly very sweet, but something is so confusing since I think I would really HATE me after reading all this stuff about other guys. How do you not hate me? please, feel free to leave a comment. Part of me wonders if you're just reaching out because you're hoping I'll blog about you? Well done, it worked!
And also, clearly I have my hands full right now. So...I don't really see drinks on the horizon for us. But some girl will be very lucky to meet a guy as dedicated and attentive as you someday. 

And....that's all for now!
Linz. OUT.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. i will repeat what i said before about NOTdoc (prior to my balenciaga fragrance bath, prior to our "quickie" bevvies tonight, prior to my neatly sending 3 poorly-crafted-why-the-eff-did-i-click-send work emails), AND. I. QUOTE.: "tell NOTdoc, that rancid jizz-taco, to shut the f*ck up and practice the fine art of NEVER CONTACTING YOU AGAIN". end quote.

    seriously. dude is a text away from aggravated harassment. next steps: 911.

    to abe the jew, and i mean this as nicely as a female can, don't be a NOTdoc. that's just stalker behavior.

  3. I have the ablility to comment again! yay! i'm vloggingellie on twitter. I loved the post! Oh and I saw the zoosk commercial you announce for, so freaking cool!

  4. totes hilar. I'm waiting with bated breath to see if abe the jew comments.

  5. Good article keep posting this type of articles..............