I've always been a very analytical person. Most writers are. But in the past year I've become overly-analytical. Hyper analytical, if you will.
Why? Well, I'm an information whore. I need facts, details and to gather as much knowledge as possible about any situation I am in or have concern over.
I've boiled it down to one basic thing:
1 : an act or instance of transmitting
a : information transmitted or conveyed
b : a verbal or written message
a : a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior <the function of pheromones in insectcommunication>; also : exchange of information
When Lindsey doesnt get enough of this, she does not do very well.
She goes into her own head. Very very deep into it.
And apparently, she starts to talk in 3rd person.
And drive herself, and most of her friends/co-workers, insane.
I usually allow this insanity to play out for a brief period of time, after all an imagination is a terrible thing to waste. Then, I try to ground myself by facing the fact that I am probably inventing a lot of things and nothing has anything to do with me. And lastly, I always come back to this story my dear friend D once shared with me.
I will now share it with you.
Her Diary/His Diary
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Couldn't get the boat engine to start today, but at least I got laid.
And there you have it.
I hope this helps all of you get off the see-saw time and time again.