A merry go round that ain’t always very merry.
Round and round we go. Will we stop? We never know.
Same shit, different time.
One minute you’re elated.
The next, fairly certain you might vomit.
Then, you’re exhilarated. “OMGEE THIS IS THE BEST RIDE EVERRRRR!”
Followed immediately by, “I’m scared, how the hell did we get here, get me the fuck off this fucking ride surely designed by the spawn of satan.”
Repeat. In cycles. Dizzy, dizzy cycles.
Me (to self): “Why do I keep getting on this thing?”
Why do we keep thinking the ride might be different this time?
Sure, it’s in a different location. And this merry-go-round is RED. Our last one was blue. Hell-O. Like, soo different. Duh.
And it IS different. Until it isn’t. And then it is again. I think?
Oh wait- am I just going around in circles here?
Somebody stop me.
Stop the ride.
Stop it all.
I squint my eyes and wait for the spinning to cease. The nausea to scram. My appetite to return. And hopefully when it does, it only wants kale and nuts. Why can't I ever just crave KALE??
But we still hold out hope. We have to believe that maybe this turn, this ride is going to take us to a new place.
And, if the stars align and luck wins out, we get to graduate to the next level.
I’ll see you on the see-saw.