Your advice was fairly consistent, and I really appreciate you taking the time to dole it out on me. This is totally unchartered waters for yours truly-- both the long distance thing and the, you know, actually liking someone thing. Wah!
So, I bet you're wondering what's gone on since Boulder Boy left NYC?
Here's a hint: NOTHING.
In case that was confusing:
Nada.
Nechevo.
Rien.
AbsolutelyfuckingNOTHING.
Ok, there's been some very [VERY] sporadic textchanges, but I was fine with that. Just a way to stay in touch, engaged, blah blah.
Our last contact? Saturday.
BFWB invited me out of my misery to meet him n' his roomies in the park to play some crazy swedish game [KUBB] and drink mimosas. Sure, I was planning on de-toxing, but....yeah. This was more important.
Btw, someone took pics of us and posted them on a blog! Random.
Yes, that would be KUBB. Highly amusing, difficult and sort of a crap-shoot. Unless you're BFWB and just happen to RULE at it. Glad he was on my team.
Funny enough, random photo-blogger also saw what we saw right next to us:
The fact that these dudes just decided to drag an upright bass, banjo and guitar to Tompkins square park on a saturday is pretty damn rad to me. And I felt the need to share. Since Boulder Boy is a music lover/aficionado, I decided "Screw it." So I sent him this pic (well ok, the one I took!)
ME: An upright bass and banjo in the park on a saturday? Pretty amazing.
HIM: Wow that is awesome! Where ya at?
ME: Tompkins square park, playing a weird swedish game on a gorg day. Whachoo doin?
HIM: Lounging on my porch, getting some sun. Went to the farmer's market this morning. Typical Boulder saturday. :)
ME: Sounds like heaven! :) Things to get: 1) toilet paper 2) porch.
HIM: :)
UM- Smiley face?? Granted it was within a minute of my text, but STILL! I was like Okaaay, smiley face. Nothin' says "conversation OVER" like a smiley face.
Right???
So, I decided that he's probably chilling out and maybe not that into texting right now, and better to let him have the last one anyway and then see when/if he writes back next.
I'M. STILL. WAITING!!!!!!!!
I mean, really?? FOUR days sans comm? As I launched into a category 5 freak-out, my bestie Jendel talked me off a ledge. She's a great source because she was also in a long-distance relationship {that has since brought her to--sniffle--LA to be with the boy}, but she had a lot of good wisdom to bestow. She didn't seem to think it was a big deal at all to not hear back and reassured me that he's probably just waiting to hear from me once I get there.
So, I've sufficiently convinced myself this is the case and am looking forward to his response to my not-at-all-pre-planned text upon arrival. And surprisingly, I feel so much less anxious and just more excited about the prospect of this happening. I'm feeling very Zen right now. It's either that or I am just finally totally, completely DELUSIONAL. I'm going to go with option A.
And, that's all I have to report, lovely ladies [AND, gents, as I've come to discover!]. Anyway, I've more than appreciated your positive thoughts, great advice, demands for me to blog more and all-around rooting for me on this one. In the time you've been reading my word vomit, have you ever known me to get this bigiggity over a guy???
This has to mean something.
Hell, I've even been looking into the ASTROLOGY of this whole thing. Which, by the way, is REALLY good.
Sagittarius and Aquarius seem to be quite the the match in MANY departments.
Oh hell. I can't wait to get there and send this text! And...guess whose flight is 2 HOURS delayed??
Not the best sign. Luckily, my Zen-ness is keeping me calm. I'm like freakin' Buddha, in the bowels of New Jersey right now.
Stay tuned, my pretties!!!
I feel for you lady. Once I sent my now husband an e-mail early on in our relationship that I thought was so witty and funny. I was excited what kind of an exchange it would bring…and he NEVER replied. WHAT!? I wondered if I offended him or if he thought I was lame…did I lose my wit?? Anyhow he just thought it was funny but didn’t feel like responding. Men!? Didn’t he understand that I was flirting and he should flirt back…no he didn’t.
ReplyDeleteHave a great time. You are so cute and fun. I predict a WONDERFUL trip.
i don't even know where to start...
ReplyDeleteso i like the name boulder boy, mainly because i'm watching make it or break it and it's set in boulder
next item of business, boys can be stupid. i may have put my life on hold for a boy who just talked to me to pass the time. and i would be so mad when he wouldn't text me back. i have all these rules about texting a guy you like,it's ridic!
moving on, looks like a cool game. in that picture you like a girl from my sorority and bfwb looks cute.
smily faces pisses me off when i get it alone, it's like a little demon taunting you
she's like the christina to your meredith, not that your dark and twisty
have fun in colorado, complain to the airline about your flight, you never know what good could come of it
happy passover, is that what you say? i don't know how to wish a good passover to someone but that's my intention.
Having read your post today I HAD to read your last post and find out all about your heart throb from Colorado. I will admit that I'm a bit miffed that your flight is delayed. This is like a novel series with no book 4 on the shelves yet. If I were you, I wouldn't sweat the 4 days of no communication from him. I'm sure he is as excited to be with you as you are with him since his last face to face comment was "see you in a week?".
ReplyDeleteAs cool as girls play it, guys have to abide by the same rules because if he was all over the text messages and such you wouldn't be as into him as you are. As far as waiting to further the physical side of the relationship good for that, waiting is the best under all circumstances.
I'm not sure how you can kiss a smoker but that's your deal.... I can't ever seem to get the taste out of my mouth no matter how many times I brush my teeth and tongue nor how much mouthwash and toothpaste I use but that's just me.
Super stoked that you have found a gentleman. You totally deserve it. Chase on and keep us informed. If you need a fellas thoughts on things feel free to tweet me on twitter @bamboocyclist.
Keep it real sister.
@Ellie--I was totally thinking the same thing about Boulder Boy! Love it.
ReplyDeleteGuuhhh, why are boys (and men, apparently?) so freaking dumb? Lame lame lame. Hopefully me makes it up to you with some totally hot makeouts?
Okay, time for some tough love:
ReplyDeleteI hate to play devil's advocate here, but I see you making the mistake of thousands of girls everywhere.
While it's fun to see you be twitterpated over someone instead of luke warm, I'm afraid you need to chillax. You're coming across as borderline obsessive, and it seems as if you are inventing a whole relationship with this guy based on only a handful of conversations...Guys can sense this, and it's a major turn off.
You're talking about this guy as if he could be "the one". I know you're really REALLY attracted to him, and that he's tall, and a GREAT kisser. But you don't know that much about him yet.
You should never try to fit yourself into a mold to make a guy like you (a.k.a. pretending to be a smoker, when you're not). As far as you know, he only thinks of you as a fun girl to hang out with, and hey, maybe he'll get laid.
Yes, you should text him that you're in CO, but let HIM suggest meeting up. And if he doesn't?? DON'T bring it up. Just have a fab time with your fam.
What turned me on about your blog was your carefree attitude toward dating, and your confidence. I'm wondering who is this stranger who obsesses over a smiley face, and paces the floor for four days waiting for a text, and who already has a "not-at-all-pre-planned-text" composed? And what have you done with the old Lindsey?
Gingerstar-
ReplyDeleteFirst, thanks for the tough love. You raised a lot of really good points and I agree with you. I definitely don't want to lose myself in this situation, yet I don't actually think I have. Think of this blog as my diary-- I write a lot of my inner-dialogue here because maybe it's funny, maybe it's entertaining and maybe some of you can relate. It's definitely, however, NOT the image I would ever outwardly project in the world (and of course not to the guy), but I see where you're coming from.
also, I have to defend myself. I was actually NOT "pretending" to be a smoker. I often smoke an occasional cigarette socially when out having a drink or two. It's of course an awful habit and something I go in phases with. I would NEVER, ever make myself something I'm not for a guy. I know exactly who I am at this stage in life. Guys can take it or leave it.
Last, I think after what I've been through with divorce and ended another serious relationship, coupled with this stream of crazies and freaks you've been reading about, I was starting to believe I would never really like anyone again. So I think this is all stemming from excitement that something I believed wasn't possible might actually be.
I appreciate your advice and honest perspective. I'll take honesty over BS any day! Thanks for reading. :)
So I went back and reread your last post, and thank goodness I did so because I saw that you had asked me a question, and I would hate for you to think I ignored you! Once you've seen the length of this comment, you might wish I had!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, today I read this new post, and I started getting nervous.
In your previous post, I was hung up on this line: It just felt so EASY.
When I read some of your other dating stories, I'm struck by the reality of what hard work dating can be. And not just dating, but the whole meeting guys, making some sort of connection, weeding through the psychos and the stalkers and the psycho stalkers long before it even gets to dating.
But this was you when you first met Boulder Boy – you thought the dude was hot, you made your move, and I have no doubt it was your confidence that ruled the night.
Sure, your strategy to meet up again and hopefully exchange numbers required some work on your part. (And again, I seriously feel like I'm watching a sitcom with some of these stories. I had a visual of a menacing clock in my head the whole time, and I think I was holding my breath.)
But in the end, you didn't force the exchanging numbers thing. You made him do some of the work for once. Men. They can be so difficult. But bravo!
The subsequent texting, the date, the night cap, the next night – it all feels so easy, and I don't like that word for it's obvious derogatory overtones, but it's the best I've got. I could go with natural, but that feels too science class, too granola for me.
You were not trying to read into anything too much. Well, maybe you were, but you didn't say it out loud in that post! It's not about the little things that we all like to read into too much. Because these things are not that important really. Always remember to look at the big picture. Even the best relationships would seem shaky when analyzed minute by minute. It seemed like you were seeing the big picture, and that was the change I saw in you and your approach. So don't go all freak out crazy girl on us now!
My husband and I met when he was visiting my city for an extended weekend. We had a really great date, and he went back to his city. There were sporadic calls and emails, which eventually became less sporadic. Of course, this was in the days before texting and Facebook. I guess there was less to obsess over. The point of sharing this little anecdote is to say that sporadic communication does not necessarily signal the death of this budding romance.
I really hope you rendezvous with Boulder Boy on this trip, and that it's totally awesome in every way. My only advice would be to send him the text letting him know you're there, and stay zen.
And now that I've read Gingerstar's comment, I feel like she and I are mothering you, although I prefer big sistering you.
Take care. And if you've made it to the end of this comment, I'm honored.
Dear Lindsey,
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome writer and make me laugh even though I know all the stories already. Why are our lives so parallel?! C'mon Boulder Boy! Stop makin her sweat!! Lindsey sets the highest level in unprecedented awesomeness and you are even lucky she texted you at all! If you don't text her soon I will kick your stinkin butt as soon as you get back to NYC!
Sincerely,
BFWB